“Our first family: where we learned (not) to speak.” SelfSilenceFamilyCommunication Book:The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate Source: The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate
“That said, what we can learn in the chapters ahead is enormous. We can maximize the chance of being heard and moving relationships forward. We can take a conversation to the next level when the initial foray doesn’t bring the desired result. We can stop nonproductive conversational habits so that an old relationship will take a new turn. We can clarify what we feel entitled to and responsible for—and what we really want to say. Or, alternatively, we can learn to sit more comfortable with our confusion. We can operate from a solid position of self, even when the other person won’t speak to us at all.” SelfRelationshipsCommunicationConfusion Author:Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.
“Acting out rather than speaking out became a pattern.” SelfActionCommunicationSpeakingPattern Author:Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.
“Our need for language, conversation, and definition goes beyond the wish to put things right. Through words we come to know the other person--and to be known. This knowing is at the heart of our deepest longings for intimacy and connection with others. How relationships unfold with the most important people in our lives depends on courage and clarity in finding voice. This is equally true for our relationship with our self. Even when we are not being heard, we may still need to know the sound of our own voice saying out loud what we really think.” SelfHurtCourageCommunicationClarityConnection Author:Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.