“In one terrible instant, that terrible thing happened, the single most tragic experience of my, and just about any, childhood: boredom.” HumorChildhoodTragedyBoredom Book:The World's Largest Man Source: The World's Largest Man
“But having people meet my family was a secret fear. It would be like taking someone to a dark room to show them my anal fissures, and you can't just go introducing everybody to your anal fissures. Only special people get to see such as that.” HumorFamilyAnal Book:The World's Largest Man Source: The World's Largest Man
“But books were full of stories and stories were full of lies and lies hurt Jesus's feelings, so I didn't know what to think. I blamed my family. They were the ones who taught me so much about telling stories, and how not to do it, and then, in inspired moments of surprise, how to tell one so good you forgot what day it was, and I liked forgetting what day it was, so I made certain life choices that would allow me to get paid to forget what day it was and teach others to forget what day it was, which is, after all, what I think heaven probably is: the whole world, forgetting what day it is. You have to, I bet, with an endless supply of them.” WritingHumorHeavenFamilyBooksLiesStorytelling Book:The World's Largest Man Source: The World's Largest Man