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Calico Jack in your Garden

Book by Karl Wiggins · 6 quotes · Millwall, Football Supporters, Hooligans

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Calico Jack in your Garden Quotes

“When leaving the ground, our ears were assaulted by language that you wouldn’t normally hear on a building site. In fact, most people in construction wouldn’t normally swear in public or in front of children. It appeared to me that the men in their twenties using these words were doing so on purpose, perhaps to make themselves appear ‘hard’ amongst other Millwall supporters, or to intimidate the opposition. But looking at them, they were pigeon chested and weak armed, and I suspected their use of foul language was intended to boost their stature to compensate for their lack of physical strength”

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“I hate people who say, “Good moaning,” instead of, “Good morning.” What kind of a wanker, are they? I’ll tell you. It’s their little joke, you see. They view it as a clever play on words, changing one letter to make a completely different word. Do you get it? By changing the ‘r’ in morning to an ‘a’ the whole meaning of the word changes. Do you see how witty they are? WANKEEERRRSS!!!!”

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“Much as I try not to find weirdos amongst the other passengers, I keep finding weirdos amongst the other passengers. Take this old woman yesterday, marching down the platform in front of me like she had a stick stuck up her arse. She had a face like an albino walnut. I didn’t know this at the time, of course, until I had cause to glance at her. Anyway, she was marching along talking to someone, swinging her arm about, and just as I go to overtake her she swung her hand down-and-out and hit me in the dick! I didn’t know what to do.”

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