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Lauren Wesley Wilson Books

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“Being specific with your needs and understanding why you need them is critical to fulfillment. When you've lost your way, when it feels like the journey you planned is no longer the journey you're on. "What do you need?" can be your North Star. Even one small step in a deliberate direction can reorient you back on your path.”

“The point of mentoring someone, after all, is to help that person get ahead. But these moments can also serve as a wake-up call to a mentor that things have shifted and changed, and that is not always a welcome change. People like to feel needed, so if you don't need your mentor/sponsor/etc... anymore, it can feel like a punch to the gut for that person. They might feel jeaous or surprised or simply unprepared, and that can put a strain on your relationship. But this is part of your growth, and growth always comes with its own set of challenges.”

“Organisations are scrambling, and they assume DEI (Diversity, equity and inclusion) won't bring in revenue, so they give it the smallest budget. Then they allocate what little DEI money they do have to programs and events concerning hiring rather than retention, professional development, education, or training. That might help bring in new entry-level employees of color, but if you don't dedicate resources to retention and development, how are you going to help advance these workers to executive positions? If you don't invest in progress, no one is going to suddenly work miracles.”

“Women of color are called on to fix the racial disparities in their companies, and it's a huge and exhausting undertaking, especially because it's ultimately not the people of color who still create the change. The workers in the majority groups, and leaders in power - those are the people who will foster change. Everyone else can support the effort, but it's the power players who will be calling the shots.”

“I think we are doing ourselves a disservice when we say, "Everyone should be an ally!" because by giving the impression that it's so easy that everyone can do it, we diminish the role and the power allyship has. I'd rather have fewer people declare their intention to be an ally if those who did actually did the work required and did it right.”

“If you are a part of a conversation in which your colleagues of color are being othered, it's incumbent upon you to speak up. Be the person to say, "This is not right" or "It's time that you learn her name", or "She actually doesn't look anything like the other woman you are confusing with her, except for the fact that they are both Asian".”

“In its simplest terms, allyship is about mentorship or sponsorship across race lines. It's about creating opportunities for colleagues of color that can help them advance in their careers. Think promotions, attendance at conferences, nominations for awards or speaker-positions, inclusion on high profile committees, teaching your young colleagues of color the soft skills and rules of the game that they might not have learned otherwise. Ask what they need, share what you can offer, and see what makes the most sense. Don't assume you know what they need, and don't ask for kudos for your behaviour. Contribute to the change and know that the benefits of your efforts will come back to you.”

“Research shows that where you grew up, where you went to school, and even where you work currently can give you up to a 12 times advantage in gaining access to opportunity. Which is to say, if you weren't handed professional connections by your parents or your neighborhood or your boarding school alumni network, you need to build them on your own.”

“There is a reason why the waiting game won't serve your career. The truth is, not everyone at your company will have your best interests at heart, and not everyone will want you to get ahead. This could be for any number of reasons - they may see you as competition, they may mentor someone at your level who they want to help excel, they may simply not like you. Who knows their motivations, and frankly, who cares?”

“For honors like this one, organizations have to submit nominations. Given my midlevel position, I knew the firm would never nominate me - at least not yet - so I was happy ColorComm submitted the awards entry. I wanted ColorComm to be recognized for our work, and I knew that making the list could mean big thngs for my career and the company I was building. What I didn't spend time worrying about was the protocol or the politics of it all - how the firm would feel about my nomination. If I won, would it rub people the wrong way? I thought I was deserving of the award, so I was happy to have my name submitted. If it made people mad, I could always ask for forgiveness later.”

“Clearly, I believe in making the big bets and taking chances. They almost always pay off. Even if the immediate outcome is a bust, you usually learn something valuable that will ultimately serve your career. Maybe you'll discover what not to do, or how to manage a crisis, or how to persevere after a failure. It's important to keep in mind that with every new chance you take, there's an increased possiblity of pissing someone off.”

“Back when I started ColorComm, I was living in a small DC apartment with slow dial up Internet, so I spent two hours before work and two hours after work using the free Wi-Fi at the hotel across the street. It was a lot of long days, too little sleep, morning workouts and evening drinks missed in favor of doing more work - but it was worth it to me because I knew my dream was to one day leave my firm and run ColorComm full-time. I was willing to put in the exra hours. But if reading this makes you cringe with dread, or if you just don't want to spend that much time working, that's okay! It is not necessary to work from dawn to dusk every single day in order to have a successful career. But that reaction also means you probably shouldn't plan to make your side hustle your full time job anytime soon, because you may not be passionate enough or hungry enough to make it happen.”

“No one wants to be surprised or shot down, especially in a group setting. So the person who needs an answer, if they are smart, will have already led individual members towards their side. Conversations are happening behind the scenes so that by the time the big meeting takes place, the person pitching the idea already has buy in.”

“This is why I say you need to have the passion if you're going to take the risk. Because when there are hard times and there will be hard times and you're scared and worried and wondering if you should have taken such a risky leap, you'll stick it out as long as you're doing something that fuels you. Enterpreneurship is glorified constantly - who doesn't want to go on vacation whenever she wants and get her nails done during the workday and make her own schedule? Bt I primise you, 90 % of the enterprenurship life is not glamorous, it is repetitive and gruelling and maybe a little bit boring - not the kind of thing that makes for good social content. If you're gonna do it, you have to really want it.”

“In fact, when you're doing business with friends you should be even more deliberate about discussing startegy and outlining clear goals and business practices. I didn't want to risk the relationship by having these hard conversations or seeming unsupportive, so in the end I said yes... and our friendship was still affected.”

“I can't stress enough: when doing business with friends, the agreement needs to be ironclad. The terms need to be crystal clear. THe more you leave open to interpretation, the more one party will make assumptions based on friendship rather than business. Sometimes we avoid these conversations because we don't want our friends to think we don't believe in them, but it's always better to discuss contingency plans before you need them.”

“There will always be new business opportunities. If you say no to one deal, another will come along. But you can't replace a friend. Sure you will make new ones, but the people who have known you outside the office, maybe since before your career even started, those relationships can't just be replaced.”