“Wendell explains that my pain feels like it's in the present, but it's actually in both the past and the future. Therapists talk a lot about how the past informs the present- how our histories affect he ways we think, feel, and behave and how at some point in our lives, we have to let go of the fantasy of creating a better past. If we don't accept the notion that there's no redo, much as we try to get our parents or siblings or partners to fix what happened years ago, our pasts will keep us stuck. Changing our relationship to the past is a staple of therapy. But we talk far less about how our relationship to the future informs the present too. Our notion of the future can be just as powerful a roadblock to change as our notion of the past. In fact, Wendell continues, I've lost more than my relationship in the present. I've lost my relationship in the future. We tend to think that the future happens later, ut we're creating in our minds every day. We the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it.” PainPastRelationshipFuturePresent Book:Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Source: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
“Well you seem like you're enjoying the experience of suffering, so I thought I'd help you out with that... There's a difference between pain and suffering,' Wendell says, 'You're going to have to feel pain- everyone feels pain at times- but you don't have to suffer so much. You're not choosing the pain, but you're choosing the suffering” PainSufferingChoice Book:Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Source: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
