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Mandy Ashcraft Quotes

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Famous Mandy Ashcraft Quotes

“He ended up smashing several fax machines for the failure they represented to him, but of course had to pay for them because of what they represented to the Best Buy stores in which they'd been smashed.”

Humor Failure Value Damage

Book:Small Orange Fruit

Source: Small Orange Fruit

“They stood there looking as if they'd weathered a brief but intense storm between Bagel's cubicle and the break room.”

Humor Travel Stress

Book:Small Orange Fruit

Source: Small Orange Fruit

“Sorry it took me so long to get back here. I went out front to smoke, and then I saw Angel's truck was unlocked and made myself a burrito with a crushed up fortune cookie inside,' said the only person they knew that would say that, carrying the little grey kitten. He pulled a wet paper fortune out of the beans. 'My burrito says 'Keep your eye on the prize'.”

Humor Food Fortune Marijuana Tacos Fortune Cookie Burritos Stoned Keep Your Eye On The Prize

Book:Small Orange Fruit

Source: Small Orange Fruit

“He'd chain-smoked so heavily over the years in the vicinity of that travel bag that he wouldn't be surprised if the leather had developed a tumor.”

Humor Health Travel Smoking Tumors

Book:Small Orange Fruit

Source: Small Orange Fruit

“He didn't think his mother's brother used drugs and yet the number of spoons and trap house Feng Shui seemed to keep the option open.”

Humor Drugs Spoons Drug Addiction Feng Shui

Book:Small Orange Fruit

Source: Small Orange Fruit

“Over all, it appeared to be some sort of drug or money laundering front that was having a terribly difficult time of not coming across as both.”

Humor Money Business Drugs Money Laundering Drug Front

Book:Small Orange Fruit

Source: Small Orange Fruit

“It was as if a mad scientist had sold all of his important tools and chemicals at a yard sale, leaving a makeshift laboratory of scrap materials that the neighbors didn't want.”

Humor Science Laboratory Mad Scientist Yard Sale Lab

Book:Small Orange Fruit

Source: Small Orange Fruit

“These were not the aliens out beaming anyone up. If anything, they'd be the ones providing apologetic form letters to the inconveniently beamed-up.”

Humor Planets Aliens Apology Ufo Outerspace

Book:Small Orange Fruit

Source: Small Orange Fruit

“The payroll department was the only organized department they had, carefully and tediously ensuring no one was ever overpaid.”

Humor Government Money Business Paid Payroll

Book:Small Orange Fruit

Source: Small Orange Fruit

“His undeniably impressive resume might as well have said he designed an updated swastika for the modern Neo-Nazi, the way brick walls had been put up around his entire field of work.”

Art Humor Graphic Design Nazis Resume Swastika

Book:Small Orange Fruit

Source: Small Orange Fruit