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Mary-Frances O'Connor Books

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“Yearning is not only for the past, for something that was. Yearning also means that there is something we do not like about the present. If yearning were only about the past, we would simply spend some time with our memeories, and then switch gears to focus on whatever is happening in the present. But the present moment can be full of pain when we are grieving, which makes the past all the more desirable. If the present has little to say for itself, or if we feel unable to shift our attention and we do not even know what the present has to offer, the more likely it is that yearning will persist.”

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Book:The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss
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“In humans as well, it is because your loved one existed that certain neurons fire together and certain proteins are folded in your brain in particular ways. It is because your loved one lived, and because you loved each other, that means when the person is no longer in the outer world, they still physically exist—in the wiring of the neurons of your brain.”

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Book:The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss
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“Grief is a heart-wrenchingly painful problem for the brain to solve, and grieving necessitates learning to live in the world with the absence of someone you love deeply, who is ingrained in your understanding of the world. This means that for the brain, your loved one is simultaneously gone and also everlasting, and you are walking through two worlds at the same time. You are navigating your life despite the fact that they have been stolen from you, a premise that makes no sense, and that is both confusing and upsetting.”

LossGriefHealingGrievingMourning
Book:The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss
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