“Had any children? the doctor asks. I say No. And close my lips—the other half of the answer. If this were a party, I'd feel I had to go on, even if the other person hadn't asked Why not? Or Are you planning on having any? They feel free to ask. And almost always, I explain something about wanting them but not enough, or how I wish I had two lives: in one of them I'd have a child by now. But it's no good, not doing something never sounds as real as doing it. I seem to stand in for reserve, my life a keeping back, a state of being not in active service.” ChildrenPoetryPoemHolding BackChildlessnessReserveMultiple Lives Book:No Moon Source: No Moon