“What matters is kindness; what matters is solidarity: What matters is staying alert, staying open, because if we know anything from what has gone before us, it is that the time for feeling will not last.” FeelingsKindness Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“The present, the present. It never stops, no matter how weary you get. It comes unstintingly, as a river does, and if you aren't careful, you'll be swept off your feet.” TimeLivingPresentNow Author:Olivia Laing
“The bodies state of red alert brings about a series of psychological changes, driven by gathering tides of adrenaline or cortisol. These are the fight or flight hormones, which act to help and organism respond to external stresses. But when a stress is chronic not acute, when it persists for years and is caused by something that cannot be outrun, then these biochemical alterations wreak havoc on the body. Lonely people are restless sleepers and experience a reduction in the restorative function of sleep. Loneliness drives up blood pressure, accelerates ageing, weakens the immune system and acts as a precursor to cognitive decline. According to a 2010 study, "Loneliness predicts increased morbidity and mortality". Which is an elegant way of saying that loneliness can prove fatal.” DeathPsychologyLonelinessStressMortalityFight Or Flight Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“Loneliness is personal, and it is also political. Loneliness is collective; it is a city. As to how to inhabit it, there are no rules and nor is there any need to feel shame, only to remember that the pursuit of individual happiness does not trump or excuse our obligations to each another. We are in this together, this accumulation of scars, this world of objects, this physical and temporary heaven that so often takes on the countenance of hell. What matters is kindness; what matters is solidarity. What matters is staying alert, staying open, because if we know anything from what has gone before us, it is that the time for feeling will not last.” Loneliness Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“I felt like I was in danger of vanishing, though at the same time the feelings I had were so raw and overwhelming that I often wished I could find a way of losing myself altogether, perhaps for a few months, until the intensity diminished.” Loneliness Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“What this means is that the lonelier a person gets, the less adept they become at navigating social currents. Loneliness grows around them, like mould or fur, a prophylactic that inhibits contact, no matter how badly contact is desired. Loneliness is accretive, extending and perpetuating itself. Once it becomes impacted, it is by no means easy to dislodge. This is why I was suddenly so hyper-alert to criticism, and why I felt so perpetually exposed hunching in on myself even as I walked anonymously through the streets, my flip-flops slapping on the ground.” LonelinessSocial Interaction Book:The Lonely City / To the River Source: The Lonely City / To the River
“Loneliness is by no means a wholly worthless experience, but rather one that cuts right to the heart of what we value and what we need” Loneliness Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“Manhattan across the water, the glittering towers. I was working, but I didn't have anything like enough to do, and the bad times came in the evenings, when I came back to my room, sat on the couch and watched the world outside me going through on glass a lightbulb at a time.” LonelinessNew YorkLonelyCityIndescribableMumbaiBig CityLonely City Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“Loneliness, I began to realise, was a populated place. A city in itself. And when one inhabits a city, even a city as rigorously and logically constructed as Manhattan, one starts by getting lost.” LostCitiesLonelinessCityBegining Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“What this means is that the lonelier a person gets, the less adept they become at navigating social currents. Loneliness grows around them, like mould or fur, a prophylactic that inhibits contact, no matter how badly contact is desired. Loneliness is accretive, extending and perpetuation itself. Once it becomes impacted, it is by no means easy to dislodge. This is why I was suddenly so hyper-alert to criticism, and why I felt so perpetually exposed hunching in on myself even as I walked anonymously through the streets, my flip-flops slapping on the ground.” Loneliness Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“Если к вам вообще не прикасаются, речь - сама тесная связь, какую вообще можно установить с другим человеком.” LonelinessCityLonely City Author:Olivia Laing
“At some point, you have to set down the past. At some point, you have to accept that everyone was doing their best. At some point, you have to gather yourself up, and go onward into your life.” PastForgivenessMoving On Book:The Trip to Echo Spring Source: The Trip to Echo Spring
“What does it feel like to be lonely? It feels like being hungry: like being hungry when everyone around you is readying for a feast.” LonelinessSolitudeAlone Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“A child raised catholic knows the world is not all it seems; knows that other realms exist above the clouds or thousands of miles beneath the floor. Though these beliefs may in their detail be discarded, the sense remains: that the earth is porous; that the eyes are not to be trusted.” ChildrenReligionMagicCatholicism Book:To the River: A Journey Beneath the Surface Source: To the River: A Journey Beneath the Surface
“The Argonauts is about these small, miraculous domestic dramas, and the acts of readjustment and care that they require, but it is also a reconsideration of what the institutions established around sexuality and reproduction mean if you come at them slant, if you disrupt them by the very fact of your being. Evictions and exclusions keep occurring.” ReadingReviewsQueer Book:Funny Weather: Art in an Emergency Source: Funny Weather: Art in an Emergency
“There are kinds of solitude that provide a respite from loneliness, a holiday if not a cure.” LonelinessSolitude Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“These narratives are interesting in and of themselves, but Nelson isn’t just airing her feelings out. She’s bent on using these experiences as ways of prying the culture open, of investigating what it is that’s being so avidly defended and policed. Binaries, mostly: the overwhelming need, to which the left is no more immune than the right, for categories to remain pure and unpolluted. Gay people marrying or becoming pregnant, individuals migrating from one gender to another, let alone refusing to commit to either, occasions immense turbulence in thought systems that depend upon orderly separation and partition, which is part of the reason that the trans-rights movement has proved so depressingly threatening to certain quarters of feminist thought.” FeminismQueerTransgender Book:Funny Weather: Art in an Emergency Source: Funny Weather: Art in an Emergency
“Loneliness is hallmarked by an intense desire to bring the experience to a close; something which cannot be achieved by sheer willpower or by simply getting out more, but only by developing intimate connections. This is far easier said than done, especially for people whose loneliness arises from a state of loss or exile or prejudice, who have reason to fear or mistrust as well as long for the society of others. [...] The lonelier a person gets, the less adept they become at navigating social currents. Loneliness grows around them, like mould or fur, a prophylactic that inhibits contact, no matter how badly the contact is desired. Loneliness is accretive, extending and perpetuating itself. Once it becomes impacted, it is by no means easy to dislodge.” WritingArtHistoryPsychologyNew YorkMemoirNonfictionAutobiographyEssay Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“That autumn, I kept coming back to Hopper’s images, drawn to them as if they were blueprints and I was a prisoner; as if they contained some vital clue about my state. Though I went with my eyes over dozens of rooms, I always returned to the same place: to the New York diner of Nighthawks, a painting that Joyce Carol Oates once described as “our most poignant, ceaselessly replicated romantic image of American loneliness”... Green shadows were falling in spikes and diamonds on the sidewalk. There is no colour in existence that so powerfully communicates urban alienation, the atomisation of human beings inside the edifices they create, as this noxious pallid green, which only came into being with the advent of electricity, and which is inextricably associated with the nocturnal city, the city of glass towers, of empty illuminated offices and neon signs.” LonelinessEdward HopperOlivia Laing Author:Olivia Laing
“Hopper’s paintings are full of women like her; women who appear to be in the grips of a loneliness that has to do with gender and unattainable standards of appearance, and that gets increasingly toxic and strangulating with age.” ArtArtistBeautyGenderEdward Hopper Book:The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone Source: The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
“What I loved, aside from the work of making, was the self-forgetfulness of the labour, the immersion in a kind of trance of attention that was as unlike daily thinking as dream logic is to waking.” TimeGardeningFlow State Book:The Garden Against Time: In Search of a Common Paradise Source: The Garden Against Time: In Search of a Common Paradise
“She missed the sense of time as something serious and diminishing, she didn't like living in the permanent present of the id.” TimeAgingEgoism Book:Crudo Source: Crudo
“Who gave a fuck, Kathy thought, no one liked Putin, likeability was irrelevant, what mattered was whether you could make people numb enough to change all the laws, change the entire system, that was the game. Once you pardoned a corrupt sheriff who'd openly run 'concentration camps' for Latinos you were probably well on the way. Numbness mattered, it was what the Nazis did, made people feel like things were moving too fast to stop and though unpleasant and eventually terrifying and appalling, were probably impossible to do anything about.” PoliticsIgnoranceNumbnessPolitical Apathy Book:Crudo Source: Crudo