“As Kierkegaard wrote: 'Repetition is a beloved wife of whom one never tires'. This sentence is misunderstood by almost everyone. On the basis of this misunderstanding, it is either confirmed (by those who are happily married) or criticised (by those who are happily divorced). When you read the expression, it is easy to interpret it as follows: 'The beloved wife/husband is a repetition of whom one never tires/ However, for Freud and Kierkegaard, the repetition is central, the repetition on the basis of which a partner is ascribed a particular place, and not vice versa. At the same time, repetition then had a different meaning. Nowadays, repetition has become almost synonymous with boredom. One only has to think of a children's game that is endlessly repeated and yet gives pleasure every time, in contrast with the blase adult who always wants something new, something different, something that might still rouse him from the lethargy of excess.” LoveRelationshipKierkegaard Author:Paul Verheage
“From the point of view of the partial drive, this other person is always a means, and he/she never becomes a goal in him/herself. In pragmatic terms, this suggests that the drive does not require a person as a subject in any way. The movement of the partial impulse is that of an arc, a boomerang, that passes over the other person, returns to itself, and closes in on itself, creating a totality, a completed action, self- gratification.” PsychologyRelationshipObjectification Author:Paul Verheage
“Therefore the goal of the partial drive is not the other person, the goal is to achieve a particular form of gratification. In this respect, the other person is actually superfluous as a subject and can sometimes even be an obstacle to pleasure. He or she serves as an object—and actually as a partial object—a means of achieving a goal.” PsychologyRelationshipObjectification Author:Paul Verheage
“The most obvious difference between a drive and love concerns the object, which should no longer be referred to as an object. In contrast with the drive where the object can always be exchanged as an unimportant means to an end, in the case of love, everything turns upon this one irreplaceable other.” LovePsychologyRelationshipObjectificationDrives Author:Paul Verheage
“There is barely any room left for the self, and the loved one takes up all the space available. As Freud says: 'A person in love is humble” LovePsychologyRelationship Author:Paul Verheage
“We should not forget that marriage was and is primarily an economic matter focused on the division of property and on inheritance; that is why marriage and the property-owning classes go hand in hand. The have-nots do not and did not need it. Marriage in the first half of the twentieth century was a co-production by Hollywood and the Vatican, that has undergone significant changes, though the economic basis still survives. For example, this is perfectly expressed in the current need for 'cohabitation contracts', which are no more than a modern version of a marriage certificate, and in particular an arrangement about how goods should be divided.” MarriageRelationship Author:Paul Verheage