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Philippe Besson Books

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Lie With Me

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Un soir d'été

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“I discover that absence has a consistency, like the dark water of a river, like oil, some kind of sticky dirty liquid that you can struggle and perhaps drown in. It has a thickness like night, an indefinite space with no landmarks, nothing to bang against, where you search for a light, some small glimmer, something to hang on to and guide you. But absence is, first and foremost, silence. A vast, enveloping silence that weighs you down and puts you in a state where any unforeseeable, unidentifiable sound can make you jump.”

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“Philippe, I’m going to Spain and I’m not coming back, at least not right away. You are going to Bordeaux and I know it will be only the first step in a long journey. I always knew you were made for somewhere else. Our paths are separating. I know you would have liked for things to be different, for me to say the words that would have reassured you, but I could not, and I never knew how to talk anyway. In the end, I tell myself that you understood. It was love, of course. And tomorrow, there will be a great emptiness. But we could not continue—you have your life waiting for you, and I will never change. I just wanted to write to tell you that I have been happy during these months together, that I have never been so happy, and that I already know I will never be so happy again.”

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“On ne trahit pas les disparus. Ce sont eux qui nous trahissent. Parce qu'ils ont fait défaut, parce qu'ils sont partis, alors qu'on avait besoin d'eux, parce qu'ils ont filé sans préavis, parce qu'ils nous laissent avec le manque et aucune solution pour y remédier. Et quand ils ont lâché notre main, qui nous en voudrait d'en saisir une autre ?”

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Book:Les Passants de Lisbonne
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“Thomas says he doesn't know Vilalba very well because they usually just stay at the house for endless conversations, punctuated by laughter and complaints, long lunches and drawn-out dinners. He says for him Spain is just people in his family who love each other, who eat and drink and cut each other off in conversation until night falls. I say: Is that the reason you said something of the foreigner? He says: Yes, dark eyes, olive skin. And the feeling of never quite belonging, of being a person uprooted, as if, maybe, who knows, a sense of belonging is something one inherits.”

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“Vous savez ce que je crois ? Il y a des degrés dans la souffrance, mais pas de concurrence entre les souffrances. Ou, en tout cas, il ne devrait pas y en avoir. Le chagrin d'une fillette à qui on vient d'arracher le bras de sa poupée, il est incroyablement sincère. Celui d'une vieille dame dont le chien vient de mourir demandera peut-être des mois, des années avant de s'estomper. Celui du gamin de seize ans qui a toujours rêvé de devenir, je ne sais pas, moi, joueur de foot professionnel et à qui on dit : "Oublie, tu n'es pas assez doué", ce chagrin là, il peut le traîner toute sa vie.”

QuoteChagrinSouffranceLes Passants De LisbonnePhilippe Besson
Author:Philippe Besson
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