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Camp Half-Blood Confidential

Book by Rick Riordan · 7 quotes · Percy Jackson, Humor, Apollo

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Camp Half-Blood Confidential Quotes

“First thing I'd do is make sure the poor newbie demigods don't have to suffer through the orientation film." All conversation stopped. "What orientation film?" Will Solace asked. Nico looked puzzled. "You know ..." He glanced side to side, clearly uncomfortable with everybody watching him. Finally he cleared his throat and sang in a warbly voice to the tune of "The Hokey Cokey": "It lets the demigods in! It shuts the monsters out! It keeps the half-bloods safe, but turns mortals all about! It's Misty, and it's magic, and it makes me want to shout: the border is all about!" He punctuated the last line of the song with some half-hearted claps. We stared at him in stunned silence. "Nico." Will patted his boyfriend's arm. "You're scaring the other campers." "More than usual," Julia Feingold muttered under her breath. "Oh, come on," Nico protested. "You've all heard that annoying song, right? It's from Welcome to Camp Half-Blood." Nobody responded. "The orientation film," Nico added. We shared a group shrug. Nico groaned. "You mean I just sang in public and ... I'm the only one who's ever seen that stupid film?" "So far, anyway," said Connor Stoll.”

HumorPercy Jackson
Book:Camp Half-Blood Confidential
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“A quest? Do I have to go on a quest? AC: You may not believe it now, because this is all so new to you, but getting picked for a quest is every demigod's dream. It's what we train for. It's what we're born to do. PJ: You might not get picked right away. I mean, sure, I did - I was here, what, less than a week before I headed out to face death? AC: You were a special case, Seaweed Brain. PJ: Aw, you called me special! NDA: She also called you Seaweed Brain.”

HumorPercy Jackson
Book:Camp Half-Blood Confidential
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“He turned to Harley, the oddly muscular eight-year-old son of Hephaestus. "Want to come with? I might need help with the projector." "A projectile! Yes!" Harley pumped his fist. "A projector," Connor corrected. "And you can't make it do anything but show the movie. No exploding upgrades. No turning it into a killer robot." "Aww ..." Harley scowled in disappointment, but he followed Connor to the Big House.”

HumorPercy Jackson
Book:Camp Half-Blood Confidential
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“Uh-oh," Will muttered. "This is going to be ... interesting." It turned out the creative genius behind the movie was Will's dad - the god Apollo, which meant this was not going to be a typical orientation flick. No, as we soon found out, Apollo had written, directed, produced, hosted and starred in ... a variety show. For those of you who don't know what a variety show is, imagine a talent show on steroids, complete with canned laughter, pre-recorded applause, and an extra-large helping of hokeyness. For the next hour, we cringe-watched as Apollo and our demigod predecessors performed in song-and-dance numbers, recited poetry, acted in comedy sketches and harmonized in a musical group called the Lyre Choir. Naturally, Apollo featured prominently in most of the acts. The one of him hula-hooping shirtless while satyrs capered around with long rainbow ribbons on sticks ... you can't unsee that kind of thing.”

HumorPercy Jackson
Book:Camp Half-Blood Confidential
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“Scene: Darkness. Suddenly, a single spotlight illuminates Apollo standing on the front porch of the Big House. The house is a bold red colour, a stark contrast to the short white chiton Apollo wears. He clears his throat and speaks. Apollo: A poem by Apollo, recited dramatically by ... Apollo: O Immortal Chiron, Centaur wise and true, Trainer of our heroes, Just remember who taught you. - The opening scene of Welcome to Camp Half-Blood Apollo's chiton was so short, I held my breath throughout this scene, praying he didn't bend over. - P. J.”

HumorPoemPercy Jackson
Book:Camp Half-Blood Confidential
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