“I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang my head on the steering wheel.” HateMorningI HateWake UpWheelsWakingEvery MorningBangsAlarmsSteeringWaking Up Every Morning Author:Scott Wood
“When it came to spankings, my dad never used a belt. One time he grabbed a piece of my Hot Wheels race car track. In my mind I'm thinking, 'Great, now I'm being beaten with my own toys...' Thank God I didn't get that wood burning set I wanted.” ThinkingMindWantedUsedMy OwnRacePiecesCarDadHotMy DadTrackWoodsBurningWheelsThank GodOne TimeToysBeatenBeltsRace CarSpanking Author:Scott Wood
“I just recently had my Visa card stolen. Right now, it's everywhere I want to be.” WantRight NowCardsStolenVisa Author:Scott Wood
“The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.” FunnyHouseDogShotsCatDinnerNeighborPetStomachBullsPitsChokePit Bull Author:Scott Wood
“I joined a health spa recently. They had a sign for "Free Weights." So I took a couple.” CoupleExerciseWeightDietingSpas Author:Scott Wood
