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“[...] But sometimes love is poison, and it drips in our ears until our blood runs with it.” “Bring pain,”he said again, suddenly insistent. “You. Pack. Everyone. I go, he stays away.” “Do you want to go?” [...] He said, “Thump, thump, thump.” “What’s that?” “Heart,” he said. “Carter’s heart.” “You hear it.” “Yes.” “It speaks to you.” “Yes.” “What does it say?” He looked stricken. “Gavin, Gavin, Gavin. Not poison.” And then he went to her, his head bowed. He pressed it against her chest, his arms hanging at his sides. He breathed heavily and shuddered when my mother reached up and put her hands in his hair. “There you are,” she whispered to him. “Hello, hello. You’re home. So, no. No, Gavin. You aren’t to go away again. We are stronger together than we ever are apart, and this is where you belong.”

“You told me it was like the fight for me is all you’ve ever known. I think about that a lot and someplace inside me, some secret place that I can only look at for a little bit at a time, I know you’re right. I know this because I’ve been fighting for you to come home. I’ve been screaming and dying and praying for you to come home, and it’s taken so long, but now it’s like you never left, and I can’t seem to fit that together in my mind.”

“You told me it was like the fight for me is all you’ve ever known. I think about that a lot and someplace inside me, some secret place that I can only look at for a little bit at a time, I know you’re right. I know this because I’ve been fighting for you to come home. I’ve been screaming and dying and praying for you to come home, and it’s taken so long, but now it’s like you never left, and I can’t seem to fit that together in my mind.” [...] “I’ve never told anyone this, but anytime that I’ve felt sad or alone or angry or upset, I would pray to God to just make you come back. That I would do anything He wanted me to do if only you would walk through my door. You were the only thing that made me feel safe when the earthquakes threatened to break me. I needed you to come home because when you’re not here, I don’t have a home.”