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Quote by Abhijit Naskar

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Dervis Vadisi: 100 Promissory Sonnets

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Abhijit Naskar

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“Parker’s eyebrows dip, but his gaze slides back up to mine. “To love someone that much.” My heart seizes, my eyes stinging with fresh tears. I’m forced to look away as I pull my lips between my teeth, holding back another mournful cry. “Sorry. You should go dance now.” Swallowing, I glance back up at Parker, who has returned his attention to the lake. He teeters on the balls of his feet, his jaw clenching. I’m startled by his words as the chilly water laps at my toes—he’s never apologized for anything before, but he apologizes for this. For his brush with vulnerability, his tender curiosity. That’s nothing to be sorry for. “It felt like completion,” I tell him, explaining it the only way that makes sense. “It felt like a pinnacle. Like everything in your life has come full circle, and this person is the culmination of every dream, every plea, every dandelion wish. “And when your dreams dissolve, and the wishes scatter, it’s hard to find joy in anything else. How can you ever obtain completion again when you’re missing the biggest piece?” A ragged sigh escapes me, and I watch the emotions play across his face, a melancholy reflection pulling at his features. “I have to believe there’s still joy in the journey—this new journey —and that life isn’t all about the finished puzzle. There’s just as much fulfillment in putting it together.”

“والقهوة يجب أن يقدّمها لك شخصٌ ما. القهوةُ كالوَرْد، فالورد يقدّمه لك سِواك، ولا أحدَ يقدّم ورداً لنفسه. وإن أعددتها لنفسك فأنت لحظتها في عزلة حرة بلا عاشق أو عزيز، غريبٌ في مكانك. وإن كان هذا اختياراً فأنت تدفع ثمن حريتك، وإن كان اضطراراً فأنت في حاجةٍ إلى جرس الباب.”

“Fear of the abyss, then, might span the deepest recesses of the psychodrama of selfhood and much more mundane and awkward anxieties about human status. Somewhere between fear and oblivion and fear of what the neighbours might say. Collapsing the distance between the biggest and the smallest questions, as if there were no difference between asking, 'Why am I here?' and asking 'What do they think of me?”