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Quote by Dave Barry

“In South Florida, we have industrial cockroaches that have to be equipped with loud warning beepers so you can get out of their way when they back up.”

Quote by Dave Barry

Book:The World According to Dave Barry

Work

The World According to Dave Barry

The book is a compilation of Dave Barry's witty and satirical observations on various aspects of modern life, showcasing his distinctive sense of humor and sharp wit. more

Author

Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

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“I get offers all the time from film makers, but they are unknown quantities. I don't go there and do experiments.”

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“You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.”

“Most guys believe that they're supposed to know how to fix things. This is a responsibility that guys have historically taken upon themselves to compensate for the fact that they never clean the bathroom. A guy can walk into a bathroom containing a colony of commode fungus so advanced that it is registered to vote, but the guy would never dream of cleaning it, because he has to keep himself rested in case a Mechanical Emergency breaks out.”

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Book:The World According to Dave Barry

Source: The World According to Dave Barry

“Nature is located mainly in national parks, which are vast tracts of wilderness that have been set aside by the United States government so citizens will always have someplace to go where they can be attacked by bears. And we're not talking about ordinary civilian bears, either: We're talking about federal bears, which can behave however they want to because they are protected by the same union as postal clerks.”

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“Never allow a child to spend all of his allowance. Insist that he set aside a certain amount of money every week and put it in a safe place, where you can get it if you need to buy beer.”

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Book:Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?

Source: Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?

“Never board a commercial aircraft if the pilot is wearing a tank top.”

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Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“Never have a dog. Let's not beat around the bush here: dogs are morons.”

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Book:Homes and Other Black Holes

Source: Homes and Other Black Holes

“Never try to put all the chemicals in the entire world in your body at the same time.”

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Book:Dave Barry Turns 50

Source: Dave Barry Turns 50

“Stuffwise we are not a lean operation. We're the kind of people who, if we were deciding what absolute minimum essential items we'd need to carry in our backpacks for the final, treacherous ascent to the summit of Mount Everest, would take along aquarium filters, just in case.”

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Book:Dave Barry Talks Back

Source: Dave Barry Talks Back

“Teenagers are bored. By everything. Show a teenager an actual volcanic eruption, in progress, featuring giant billowing clouds of smoke, hot rocks raining from the sky, lava floes destroying entire villages, etc., and the teenager, eyebrows arched with sarcasm, will look at you and say, "Gee, this is swell," then return to the rental car, turn on his portable CD player, and listen to a band called Stomach Contents.”