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Quote by Dave Barry

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Homes and Other Black Holes

This book is a compilation of short stories that delve into the complexities of human existence, focusing on themes such as isolation, identity, and the search for meaning. The narratives often take readers to distant worlds and alternate realities, using speculative fiction to reflect on universal human experiences. more

Author

Dave Barry
Dave Barry

Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

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“Stuffwise we are not a lean operation. We're the kind of people who, if we were deciding what absolute minimum essential items we'd need to carry in our backpacks for the final, treacherous ascent to the summit of Mount Everest, would take along aquarium filters, just in case.”

PeopleIfsNeedsKindCasesEssentialsAbsolutesFinalsOperationsMinimumItemsSummitFiltersTreacherousEverestAscentAquariumsMount Everest
Book:Dave Barry Talks Back
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“Teenagers are bored. By everything. Show a teenager an actual volcanic eruption, in progress, featuring giant billowing clouds of smoke, hot rocks raining from the sky, lava floes destroying entire villages, etc., and the teenager, eyebrows arched with sarcasm, will look at you and say, "Gee, this is swell," then return to the rental car, turn on his portable CD player, and listen to a band called Stomach Contents.”

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“The universe has fascinated mankind for many, many years, dating back to the very earliest episodes of Star Trek, when the brave crew of the Enterprise set out, wearing pajamas, to explore the boundless voids of space, which turned out to be as densely populated as Queens, New York. Virtually every planet they found was inhabited, usually by evil beings with cheap costumes and Russian accents, so finally the brave crew of the Enterprise returned to Earth to gain weight and make movies.”

YearsEarthUniverseEvilFoundStarsSpaceMankindNew YorkPlanetsGainsWeightDatingBraveQueensEnterpriseFascinatedVoidEpisodesAccentsCrewCostumesBoundlessPajamas
Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits
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“U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation's continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York Daily News reports that two of its reporters carried box cutters, razor kinves, and pepper spray on fourteen commerical flights without getting caught. Then ABC News reports that it smuggled fifteen pounds of uranium into New York City. Then Fox News reports that it flew Osama bin Laden to Washington, D.C., and videotaped him touring the White House.”

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“We travel because, no matter how comfortable we are at home, there's a part of us that wants - that needs - to see new vistas, take new tours, obtain new entrees, introduce new bacteria into our intestinal tracts, learn new words for "transfusion," and have all the other travel adventures that make us want to French-kiss our doormats when we finally get home.”

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“We're trying to make our current house look domestic so that somebody will want to buy it. We're making a lot of simple, obvious improvements that never would have occurred to us to make while we actually lived here, because, tragically, we both happen to be domestically impaired. If we were birds, our nest would consist of a single twig with the eggs attached via Scotch tape.”

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