Quotessence
Home / Quotes / Quote by Dave Barry

Quote by Dave Barry

“We have always had dogs, and they have faithfully performed many valuable services for us, such as: 1. Peeing on everything. 2. When we're driving in our car, alerting us that we have passed another dog by barking real loud in our ears for the next 114 miles. 3. Trying to kill the Avon lady.”

Quote by Dave Barry

Book:Homes and Other Black Holes
Create image

Work

Homes and Other Black Holes

This book is a compilation of short stories that delve into the complexities of human existence, focusing on themes such as isolation, identity, and the search for meaning. The narratives often take readers to distant worlds and alternate realities, using speculative fiction to reflect on universal human experiences. more

Author

Dave Barry
Dave Barry

Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

You May Also Like

“We travel because, no matter how comfortable we are at home, there's a part of us that wants - that needs - to see new vistas, take new tours, obtain new entrees, introduce new bacteria into our intestinal tracts, learn new words for "transfusion," and have all the other travel adventures that make us want to French-kiss our doormats when we finally get home.”

WantNeedsMatterHomeAdventureKissingComfortableIntroducingTravel AdventureBacteriaVistasNew WordsDoormatEntreesFrench Kiss
Author:Dave Barry
Create image

“We're trying to make our current house look domestic so that somebody will want to buy it. We're making a lot of simple, obvious improvements that never would have occurred to us to make while we actually lived here, because, tragically, we both happen to be domestically impaired. If we were birds, our nest would consist of a single twig with the eggs attached via Scotch tape.”

IfsWantTryingLooksHappensHouseSimpleBirdCurrentsObviousImprovementEggsTapeNestsScotchTwigsScotch Tape
Book:Dave Barry Talks Back
Create image

“When preparing your return, you should be sure to avoid common mistakes. The two most common taxpayer mistakes, states the IRS booklet, are (1) "failure to include a current address," and (2) "failure to be a large industry that gives humongous contributions to key tax-law-writing congresspersons."”

GivingShouldWritingTwoStatesLawCommonMistakeKeysIndustryReturnTaxesCurrentsContributionAddressesPreparingTaxpayersIrs
Book:The World According to Dave Barry
Create image

“You must prepare yourselves, young people, because Uncle Dave's generation is getting old. We are almost ready to go to the retirement home to spend the rest of our days tapping our bedpans rhythmically in time to "easy listening" rock 'n' roll. We must pass the torch on to you, and you must grasp it, ideally by the end that is not on fire.”

PeopleEndsHomeYoungEasyFireGenerationsRocksReadyListeningRetirementRock N RollUnclesGetting OldTorchesDaveTappingRetirement Homes
Author:Dave Barry
Create image

“Your digestive system is your body's Fun House, whereby food goes on a long, dark, scary ride, taking all kinds of unexpected twists and turns, being attacked by vicious secretions along the way, and not knowing until the last minute whether it will be turned into a useful body part or ejected into the Dark Hole by Mister Sphincter.”

WayKindLongBodyLastsTurnsHouseFunDarkKnowingMinutesGoes OnScaryYour BodyHolesAll KindsUnexpectedNot KnowingViciousTwistsLast MinuteTwists And TurnsDigestive System
Book:Dave Barry's Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead
Create image

“The pleasure in traveling consists of the obstacles, the fatigue, and even the danger. What charm can anyone find in an excursion when he is always sure of reaching his destination, of having horses ready waiting for him, a soft bed, an excellent supper, and all the eases and comfort he can enjoy in his own home! One of the great misfortunes of modern life is the want of any sudden surprise, and the absence of all adventure. Everything is so well arranged.”

WantWellsHomeLife IsWaitingEnjoyPleasureModernDangerAdventureReadyComfortBedHorseSurpriseObstaclesAbsenceExcellentEaseCharmReachingDestinationMisfortunesFatigueModern LifeSupperExcursions
Author:Theophile Gautier
Create image