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Quote by Jay Leno

“Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells.”

Quote by Jay Leno

Author

Jay Leno (born April 28, 1950) is an American comedian, television host, writer, and car enthusiast. He is best known for hosting NBC's The Tonight Show from 1992 to 2009, and again from 2010 to 2014. Known for his gentle humor, observational comedy, and distinctive chin, Leno became a household name in late-night television. Beyond comedy, he is a passionate car collector with a vast collection of vehicles. He also engages in philanthropy, supporting education, healthcare, and veteran causes. Leno's career spans decades, and he is regarded as one of the most successful talk show hosts in American history. more

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“A New York doctor has finished a five year study on what smells have the biggest effect on New Yorkers. The smell New Yorkers like the most: vanilla. The smell New Yorkers like the least: New Jersey.”

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“The most important thing about recovery is to pass the message on.”

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“Here's the latest from the Pentagon -- the generals are worried that the White House is spreading itself thin by trying to fight a war on two fronts; Afghanistan and Fox News.”

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“Not a good night for President Obama. He lost elections in Virginia, New Jersey, and he's not doing good in Afghanistan either.”

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“Senator Chris Dodd unveiled his plan to reduce corruption in the Senate. He's retiring.”

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“Those two pilots that sped 150 miles past their Minneapolis destination have been suspended. They got suspended because they were looking at their laptops instead of flying the plane. Think about this -- everybody else on the plane has to turn off their laptops except for the people flying the plane.”

People Thinking Has Beens Two Past Turns Miles Flying Planes Destination Pilots Suspended Turn Off Laptops Sped Minneapolis

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“According to The New York Times, the mob has now gotten into Medicare fraud. But the good news is, when they do break your legs there's a good chance you're covered.”

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“Did you hear about the dog that was so high-strung, he developed a nervous tick?”

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Book:Jay Leno's How to Be the Funniest Kid in the Whole Wide World (or Just in Your

Source: Jay Leno's How to Be the Funniest Kid in the Whole Wide World (or Just in Your

“I had a dog that was so lazy, he had a prerecorded bark.”

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“In South Korea, a scientist considered to be one of the pioneers in the field of cloning has been sentenced to two years in prison. At least, they think it's him.”

Thinking Years Has Beens Two Fields Scientist Prison South Two Years Korea Pioneers South Korea Cloning

Author:Jay Leno