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GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition

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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE

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“The gamblers may make statements such as: "If you weren't always nagging me and making life miserable, I wouldn't need to gamble." "You know how hard I work and you begrudge me my hobby." "If you were a better spouse... " "If you didn't spend so much I wouldn't need to gamble." "If you hadn't made me so angry, I wouldn't have had to leave the house to calm down." "Sitting at the computer is the only way I can relax after one of your stupid fights." "If you paid more attention to me, I wouldn't gamble."   Usually, the accusations are much more subtle and more difficult to deal with.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“[The non-gamblers] can’t help but wonder if they could have stopped the gamblers from gambling if only they had done or said something differently. The fact is that whether or not the non-gamblers continue to play this game and join in the argument created by the gamblers, the gamblers get to gamble.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“If my husband ever felt guilt, he never showed it. I always felt guilty. My efforts to stop him from gambling or change his horrible behavior always ended up with me apologizing for making him angry, or not trusting him, or making him feel inadequate as a person and as a provider for his family.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“It was interesting in that we were excluded entirely but after a while we got restless and went inside, where there were some more of us sitting on the steps that went up to the bathroom and bedrooms and this lot was talking among themselves like birds before they fly off in one jaggy but coordinated movement. There were ten of us cousins give or take and the tallest and also the oldest one was Travis. He was twelve. He looked at us with his long, swinging jaw, trying to weigh us up. Time had passed since the last time we’d all been together, his face said, but blood was blood.”

ChildrenKidsRelationshipsFamilyRelativesCousinsReunionsFamily Reunions
Book:Idle Grounds
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“My gambler put blame on me for any problem that might occur. This kept me tripping over myself to prove that I was a good person and blameless. These "blame sessions" never really ended; they just moved on to the next time my gambler had the opportunity to indulge his need to take the focus off his gambling behavior.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“Sunday was my husband's day to do what he wanted, when he wanted to do it. All he wanted to do was watch sports while changing channels constantly, listen to the radio and make phone calls. When I asked him to go with the children and me to the park or to someone's house, he yelled that he works hard all week and I am begrudging him his only hobby. He never gave that up to spend the day with us.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“The gamblers always seem to be submerged in one serious financial or emotional crisis after another. Sometimes the crisis endangers the family's lifestyle or assets and sometimes it affects only the gamblers' quality of life. Regardless, the non-gamblers often make the unhealthy choice of not allowing the gamblers to experience their own crises and instead proceed to find ways to fix the situation. The behaviors shown by the non-gamblers may include:   Co-signing notes; Lying to creditors and employers; Asking family members for money; Making restitution for bad checks written by the gambler; Making excuses for the gambler; Paying the gamblers' debts; Compromising their own credit; Doing whatever is necessary to keep the gamblers out of jail; Making life more manageable for the gamblers.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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“I was standing in the way of my gambler's recovery by treating his symptoms with bailouts and sympathy, taking on his responsibilities and softening his consequences. He couldn't feel how bad his illness was because I was helping him numb the pain it caused him.”

AddictionGamblingGamblerGambling AddictGambling AddictionProblem GamblingGamblers AnonymousGam Anon
Book:GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
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