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Quote by Arj Barker

“I deserve someone who likes me for who I am pretending to be.”

Author

Arj Barker is a British comedian, born on August 12, 1974. He is known for his unique sense of humor and sharp wit, often bringing laughter to audiences through television and stage performances. more

“I was in a real conservative area just outside of Chicago recently. And this guy's like, 'Hey, Arj, you're from San Francisco. Are you in favor of gay marriage?' I was like, 'Well, I'd like to get to know you a little bit better first. I don't know what ever happened to buying a guy a smoothie and seeing what happens. That's how we do it back home.”

Knows Firsts Wells Littles Real Home Happens Guy Bits Seeing Happened Gay Little Bit Areas Conservative Favors Hey Buying Chicago This Guy San Francisco Gay Marriage Back Home Smoothies

Author:Arj Barker

“Google is ridiculous. Everyone uses Google, and that's why Google has such an attitude. Because it's so popular, it's conceited. I mean, it has a serious attitude. Have you tried misspelling something lately? See the tone that it takes? 'Um, did you mean...?”

Mean Use Attitude Serious Ridiculous Tone Google Conceited

Author:Arj Barker

“I just got a new iPod. It's got 80 gigabytes. Because I like to jog for three weeks at a time and I do not want to hear the same song twice.”

Want Song Three Week Ipods

Author:Arj Barker

“Can you imagine if you had a pair of shoes that you could only walk in? That could be kind of limiting under certain circumstances. 'Everybody get outta here! There's a swarm of bees coming!' What? Oh great, I got my walking shoes on today. I guess I better stroll the hell out of here at a moderate pace.”

Ifs Kind Today Certain Walks Hell Imagine Circumstances Walking Shoes Pairs Be Kind Pace Bees Moderates Pair Of Shoes Swarms Walking Shoes

Author:Arj Barker

“I believe that if you go on a date and get to second base and then you go home alone and rub one out, that's like runs batted in.”

Ifs Believe Home Running I Believe Goes On Dating Me Alone

Author:Arj Barker

“Nobody can ever learn our military's secrets - unless, you know, they happen to have the Discovery Channel. Then, it's pretty easy, just tune in for a few minutes.”

Knows Happens Easy Secret Minutes Military Discovery Tunes

Author:Arj Barker

“It's too difficult to convey tone in electronic communication. And we can solve this my friends. All we need is some new fonts. 'Great party Arj. Best party ever.' What a jerk! How do you know he wasn't being sincere, Arj? Because he wrote it in Sarcastica! If he had enjoyed himself, he would have used Good Times Roman.”

Ifs Knows Needs Used Difficult Party Communication My Friends Solve Enjoyed Tone Good Times Sincere Do You Know Jerk Fonts Being Sincere Great Party Electronic Communication Best Party

Author:Arj Barker

“You can get tested now for early onset Alzheimer's. Hold on a second, could someone hire a marching band, cause I'm so happy I feel like having a parade. You mean I can find out early if I'm going to die of a super horrible disease that there's no cure for? Well, whoopee!”

Ifs Feels Wells Mean I Can Dies Causes Band Disease Horrible Cures Tested Parades Alzheimer Alzheimer's Marching Band

Author:Arj Barker

“Anarchy is the only slight glimmer of hope.”

Anarchy Knighthood

Author:Mick Jagger

Quote by Arj Barker

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