“I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'” PeopleThinkingFeelsDoeGuyHateCausesTerribleJokesPrintThat Guy Author:Aziz Ansari
“In my first stand-up acts there wasn't material even. You know, I'd go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd - and it's what interested me as a comedian.” KnowsFirstsStageCryMaterialsGoes OnLettersDearFishesComedianOddGutsDear John Author:Bobcat Goldthwait
“The way I do things I usually always prefer to have a very clear strategy and be very focused. At the same time to be very rock solid, and crisp in execution.” WayClearRocksStrategyFocusedExecutionCrisps Author:Steve Ballmer
“A lot of us [comedians] are drawn to the stage or show business or whatever because we didn't feel so great about ourselves, and we didn't know how to do anything about that, so we sought external approval.” KnowsFeelsShowsKnow HowStageComedianApprovalShow Business Author:Barry Crimmins
“I think good ideas are usually better done quickly than slowly.” ThinkingIdeasDoneGood Ideas Author:Steve Ballmer
“You can't hate anybody till you hate yourself and you can't love anybody till you love yourself.” HateLove YouLove YourselfHate You Author:Barry Crimmins
“I have two passions in my life. One is to raise the awareness of the internment of Japanese-American citizens. My other passion is the theater.” TwoPassionAwarenessCitizensTheaterRaisesAmerican CitizensInternment Author:George Takei
“That's human nature - we want to completely rewrite history so it can be comfortable. Without getting too profound, I'm pretty sure that's where the invention of the afterlife comes from. "We don't really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows."” WantHumansHuman NatureComfortableProfoundInventionAfterlifeRainbowWormsBunniesMagical Places Author:Bobcat Goldthwait
“I never wanted the ha-ha-ha laughter [at my shows]. I always aimed for the gut. I always aimed for the pretty girls in the front row, laughing and leaning over and pooting.” ShowsWantedGirlLaughingFrontsLaughterGutsPretty Girl Author:Tracy Morgan
“I am against lying, but just because someone asks a question does not mean you have to answer it.” MeanDoeLyingAsksAnswers Author:Emily Yoffe
