“If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.” IfsSuperiors Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting.” DogVery GoodHuntingHunting Dog Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“Cocaine is yucky. I did it once: I was at a party; I was bored. I was like, 'Alright, I'll do a line.' Then I was just bored longer.” LinesPartyBoredCocaineAlright Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“Sometimes when I'm bored, I like to people watch. And I got to a touristy area and I play this game I just made up. I call it Lesbian or Midwestern?” PeopleMadeSometimesPlayGamesWatchesAreasBored Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry up, so I'm not sure how much retard humor is really going on out there, but I imagine there's a lot because it's a pretty safe group to make fun of. It's not like the Retards of America are gonna rise up and organize a protest. They're not gonna write letters. They only just recently got the Supreme Court to stop executing them.” PeopleWritingAmericaFunInterestingImagineGroupsSafeJokesLettersCourtConvincedSupremeNot SureDryProtestDisabilityOrganizeSupreme CourtRetardExecutingDry Up Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“One of my favorite sketches, and a popular comedy formula, is to put someone with a mental handicap in some kind of unlikely situation. For example: The retarded gynecologist, the retarded Jesus, the retarded Osama Bin Laden. It works. It's funny. Inappropriate? I dunno. I feel like I'm a pretty good judge of what crosses the line of good taste being that I am retarded. Socially perhaps, but severly retarded.” FeelsKindJesusLinesSituationComedyExampleJudgingTasteCrossesMy FavoriteWorking ItFormulasUnlikelyBin LadenInappropriateGood TasteOsama Bin LadenHandicapsRetardedGood JudgesGynecologists Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“I've always wanted to be a writer. Always been very creative. I always laughed at things that the rest of my family would sort of get angry, like not understand.” WantedCreativeMy FamilyAngryLaughed Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“My sister is also retarded. Across the board. She's a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard. I learned a long time ago that if you're going to tell a story about your retarded sister, you need to mention she's retarded right off the bat or inevitably, at the end of the story, someone will say, What... is she, retarded? And then you have to go, Uh... yeah, she is. Followed by a lengthy, awkward silence.” IfsWayNeedsLongEndsStoriesBornSilenceHonestGoodnessLong TimeHundredYeahBoardsMy SisterCentsAwkwardBatsLong Time AgoRetardedRetardLengthy Author:Bonnie McFarlane
“Great entrepreneurs focus intensely on an opportunity where others see nothing. This focus and intensity helps to eliminate wasted effort and distractions. Most companies die from indigestion rather than starvation, i.e. companies suffer from doing too many things at the same time rather than doing too few things very well.” WellsHelpingSufferingDiesOpportunityEffortCompanyFocusEntrepreneurIntensityDistractionStarvationIndigestion Author:Naveen Jain
“I still don't really know what my style is. I like a lot of different kinds of comedy, I like watching it and I like being inventive and original. That's the problem with doing a longer set - you can't do every joke that you have because some stuff contradicts other stuff. Even when you know that the audience knows that you're joking and it's not true, you still can't do a joke about your family dying and then later talk about your Mom. I mean you want to keep some kind of cohesive order going.” KnowsWantKindMeanStillsDifferentProblemOrderStuffAudienceComedyDyingStyleMomJokesOriginalsOur FamilyDifferent KindsYour MomTrue You Author:Bonnie McFarlane