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Quote by Daniel Tosh

“You know who makes a great first impression? Liars.”

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Daniel Tosh is an American comedian, writer, and television host. He is known for his unique sense of humor and satirical commentary, best known for his work on the TBS comedy show 'Daniel Tosh Show'. more

“Does everybody have their WWJD bracelets on? 'Cause I was wearing my bracelet recently, and I was in the movie theater, and this guy's cell phone went off - don't you just hate that? Then he picked it up, 'Hey, how's it going? I'm in a movie.' And I'm like, 'Hey! Get off the phone!' And he's like, 'Mind your own business.' And I almost went crazy, but then I looked at my bracelet: what would Jesus do? So I lit him on fire and sent him to Hell.”

Mind Doe Guy Religion Hate Jesus Causes Hell Fire Crazy Theater Phones Hey Cells Lit This Guy Cell Phone Own Business Mind Your Own Business Movie Theater Bracelet Mind Your Own

Author:Daniel Tosh

“I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty; you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.”

Use Eye Girl Blue Instagram Filters

Author:Daniel Tosh

“There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.”

Men World Two Left This World Type Liam

Author:Daniel Tosh

“I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.”

Sleep Sunrise

Author:Daniel Tosh

“Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.”

Difficult Letters Harder Silent Immigration Immigrants Illegal Spelling Illegal Immigrants

Author:Daniel Tosh

“Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.”

Girl Quality Underrated

Author:Daniel Tosh

“For people that don't have any interest in the psychology of nuance, who need everything to be in their face, who don't want to analyze... those aren't the people I romanticize about dressing.”

People Want Needs Faces Interest Psychology Dressings Nuance

Author:Marc Jacobs

“Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.”

Jesus Minus Tebow Ben Roethlisberger

Author:Daniel Tosh

Quote by Daniel Tosh

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