“I've done everything from helping old people to pee to taking out their garbage to chasing their escaped pets. We are the poor man's ambulance, and we are also, sad to say, the poor man's priest, our cab the confessional in which people litmus-test their wildest fears and prejudices.”
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“Kick him in the balls before he kicks you in yours”
“I don't need you to take care of me." "No, you need a kick up the arse.”
“Why do you want to go so high?' 'So I can kick God in the bum until he sends Daddy home.”
“Kicking me from the back shall be in your goal but kicking you back is not in my goal”
“He was only wearing trainers, but a kick in the face is a kick in the face.”