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Undead and Unemployed: A Queen Betsy Novel

In this novel, Queen Betsy, a character who is undead, faces the unique and humorous struggles of balancing her afterlife with the demands of a mundane job. The story explores her journey as she navigates the complexities of employment while maintaining her undead identity. more

Author

MaryJanice Davidson
MaryJanice Davidson

MaryJanice Davidson is an American author born on August 1, 1969. Known for her humorous and satirical style, she is best recognized for her 'Vampire Diaries' series. more

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“It's like you said the other day," said Adam. "You grow up readin' about pirates and cowboys and spacemen and stuff, and jus' when you think the world's full of amazin' things, they tell you it's really all dead whales and chopped-down forests and nucular waste hangin' about for millions of years. 'Snot worth growin' up for, if you ask my opinion.”

“Society, as we have constituted it, will have no place for me, has none to offer; but Nature, whose sweet rains fall on unjust and just alike, will have clefts in the rocks where I may hide, and secret valleys in whose silence I may weep undisturbed. She will hang the night with stars so that I may walk abroad in the darkness without stumbling, and send the wind over my footprints so that none may track me to my hurt: she will cleance me in the great waters, and with bitter herbs make me whole.”

“The woman in charge of costuming assigned us our outfits and gave us a lecture on keeping things clean. She held up a calendar and said, "Ladies, you know what this is. Use it. I have scraped enough blood out from the crotches of elf knickers to last me the rest of my life. And don't tell me, 'I don't wear underpants, I'm a dancer.' You're not a dancer. If you were a real dancer you wouldn't be here. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf.”