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Quote by Craig Ferguson

“It is a great day for the great state of Texas. The last person being tested for Ebola has come back clean. So Texas is now Ebola free. This was a big week for them. They're now free of Ebola - and Democrats.”

Quote by Craig Ferguson

Author

English biography, 120-180 words more

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“Democrats in state legislatures are at their lowest level since the 1920s. President Obama has a can't-miss strategy to save the party in 2016. He's leaving.”

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“Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.”

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“Thank heaven Election Day is over. No more campaign ads, no more mud-slinging, no more candidates pretending they're straight. It's over!”

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“Clay Aiken ran for Congress in North Carolina. But he didn't make it. Clay Aiken is famous for coming in second in a TV popularity contest that most people got fed up with years ago. He also lost on 'American Idol.'”

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“For the first time in history, Congress has 100 women in it. Congratulations. Welcome to modern times, America. It's great having 100 women in Congress. Unless you're in line for the congressional bathroom.”

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“It's fantastic that Congress has an increasing number of women. Experts call an increasingly female presence in a previously male space 'the Bruce Jenner effect.'”

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“What dogs? These are my children, little people with fur who make my heart open a little wider.”

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“I have created a life by stepping out of the box of people's limitations. I call it zigging when others are zagging.”

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“The future is not what it used to be.”

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“American voters should understand that Congress will always find a way to spend every last dollar sent to Washington.”

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