“Prince Charles is the only member of the Royal Family who ever left Cinderella for the Ugly Duckling.” Quote by Des Hanafin
“I said it three times actually.” WorldSaidAmericaThreeModernThree TimesModern World Author:Edward Heath
“William Hague, the world's favourite hairline.” WorldAmericaModernFavouriteModern World Author:Rory Bremner
“They're called Virgin Trains because they don't go all the way.” WorldWayAmericaModernTrainVirginsModern World Author:Simon Hoggart
“I was out there for 12 days. There are more beggars in Soho than there are in Kabul.” WorldAmericaModernModern WorldBeggarKabulSoho Author:Neil Morrissey
“You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.” MenWorldAmericaGirlAnimalCitiesMoralModernSurpriseBoatRealisingCentreModern WorldThighsZoosPubs Author:Jeremy Clarkson
“The fact is that Britain is the most warlike nation on earth. In the history of armed combat, we are the only democracy to have declared war on another democracy - England versus Finland in the second world war, in case you're interested - and we're always at the front of the queue when Johnny Foreigner gets a bit uppity. Who stood up to the Kaiser? Who stood up to Adolf? And let's not forget the Argies. What other country would have sent its fleet halfway round the world and lost 250 men to protect a flock of sheep and some oil that might or might not be there? We're still at it.” MenWorldStillsWarCountryFactsMightEarthAmericaLostNationsBitsForgetCasesDemocracyModernFrontsProtectEnglandRoundsOilWar Of The WorldsBritainCombatSheepWorld War IOther CountriesVersusModern WorldHalfwayForeignersFlocksSecond World WarStood UpQueuesFinland Author:Jeremy Clarkson
“In Burton's day they [soldiers] were itching to get into the fray. Now it is the opposite. They are always whining about the dangers of being killed. Oh my God, they are such wimps now! The whole point of being in the Army is wanting to get killed, wanting to test yourself to the limits. Now you have to fly 15,000ft above the war zone to avoid getting hit. I don't think there is any point in having wars if that's how you're going to behave. It's pathetic. All this whining!” IfsThinkingWorldWarWholeAmericaModernDangerLimitsTestsOppositesArmySoldierBehaveZoneModern WorldPatheticWhiningFrayWar ZonesItchingWimps Author:Rupert Everett
“Don't start drinking before the fifth song.” WorldAmericaSongModernDrinkingFifthModern World Author:Terry Wogan
“Not only do we mock the Eurovision Song Contest itself, but we lampoon other European countries for taking it so seriously, and they all retaliate by voting for each other every year and ignoring our (sometimes) palpably superior songs. Accordingly, Britain has become the Millwall FC of Eurovision: we are hated, we know we are hated, and we pretend we are happy to be hated. It's actually quite a sad state of affairs.” KnowsWorldYearsCountrySometimesStatesAmericaSongModernAffairSuperiorsHatedBritainVotingContestsModern WorldMockEuropean Countries Author:Marcus Berkmann
“Everyone wants to be young, beautiful and rich. I don't say that scornfully: there are worse things to want to be. But that's why, for example, people don't begrudge Kate Moss how much she earns for a day's work but will fulminate over the take-home pay of some fat, old Water Board exec.” PeopleWorldWantHomeAmericaBeautifulYoungWaterPayRichModernExampleFatsBoardsModern WorldKateMossBe Young Author:Nigella Lawson