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Quote by Bonnie McFarlane

“If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.”

Quote by Bonnie McFarlane

Author

Bonnie McFarlane

Bonnie McFarlane is a Canadian comedian known for her unique humor style and profound self-analysis. Born on March 28, 1973, she has been active in the comedy scene since the early 2000s. more

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“When I first started doing stand-up, I would be so nervous that I would just binge drink really heavily right before my sets, and as you can imagine, that had its drawbacks. But now I'm a professional, so I pace myself throughout the day.”

Firsts Would Be Imagine Drink Nervous Pace Imagine That Binge Drawbacks

Author:Bonnie McFarlane

“I jog, actually; I go at night. A lot of women, they don't like to go jogging alone at night. They're afraid they might get accosted. I go naked. That way, if there are any perverts around, they think I'm already being chased.”

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Author:Bonnie McFarlane

“I've been called a racist before, and let me tell you something - that is harsh. That's a really ugly thing to call someone. That's like being called a Mexican.”

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Author:Bonnie McFarlane

“When you're pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman came up and she said, I have one word for you: epidural. And I was like, Oh my God, thanks. But we already picked a name.”

People Giving Feels Said Names Advice Months Come Up Nine Thanks Pregnant One Word One Woman Nine Months Unsolicited Advice Epidurals

Author:Bonnie McFarlane

“I think it's creepy if a guy says, I would never hit a girl. Cause that should go without saying. That's like if you ever heard a guy go, I would never crap in a hot tub.”

Ifs Thinking Should Guy Girl Causes Heard Hot Crap Creepy Tubs Hot Tub

Author:Bonnie McFarlane

“My sister might be dumb, but that doesn't make her all that different from the rest of us. She's just like any other American. Except she's Canadian. And retarded.”

Different Might Dumb My Sister Retarded

Author:Bonnie McFarlane

“I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby... because he's Jewish and I'm Protestant and the baby's father is Catholic.”

Father Issues Baby Husband Catholic Raises My Husband Protestants

Author:Bonnie McFarlane

“Intellectually, I think everyone really knows that women are funny, but it's a weird thing that people keep trotting out.”

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“Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary lift.”

Ifs Giving Important Enough Bigs Faces Events Cry Meetings Lifts Temporary Your Face Big Events

Author:Bonnie McFarlane

“'Being green' is commendable, but I hope that people don't take too much pride and self-adoration because they shut off the water when they brushed their teeth. The truth of the matter is, conservation alone will do little to save our planet.”

People Littles Self Matter Water Too Much Planets Pride Green Teeth Conservation Our Planet Adoration Commendable Save Our Planet Too Much Pride

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