Home / Quotes / Quote by Christian Finnegan

Quote by Christian Finnegan

“I haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are.”

Quote by Christian Finnegan

Author

Christian Finnegan

Christian Finnegan is an American comedian known for his unique humor style and sharp wit. Born on April 1, 1973, he has been active in the comedy scene since the early 2000s. Finnegan has gained popularity through his performances in television shows, web videos, and live events. more

You May Also Like

“I really respect peple who try. People who say, No, I'm actually going to do the best I can. That said, you want to do the best you can while remaining who you are.”

People Want Trying Said I Can Respect Who You Are Do The Best

Author:Christian Finnegan

“You rarely hear anyone use the word pancreas in a not-horrible context.”

Use Horrible Pancreas

Author:Christian Finnegan

“I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.”

Enough Play Used Band Good Enough Bass

Author:Christian Finnegan

“If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax and not worry about things happening right away. That's a mistake a lot of people make - they think a year is a long time and it's really not.”

People Ifs Thinking Years Long Mistake Worry Comedy Long Time Happenings Starting Things Happen If I Could Relax

Author:Christian Finnegan

“When you experience a failure as a leader, don't hide it - talk about it. Your missed opportunity will encourage others to take risks.”

Opportunity Leader Risk Missed Opportunity

Author:Naveen Jain

“I joined a gym recently. I don't have the best history in the world of sticking with my fitness regimens, but I feel like this time's gonna be different. I figure one of two things is gonna happen: either I'll get into shape, or I'll just resign myself to paying an $85 a month fat tax.”

World Feels Two Different Happens History Figures Months Shapes Taxes Fats Two Things Gym Best History

Author:Christian Finnegan

“Some of you guys must have real jobs - office jobs. Anybody? By a show of broken spirits.”

Real Shows Jobs Spirit Guy Broken Office Real Jobs Office Jobs Broken Spirit

Author:Christian Finnegan

“I hope that if I ever disappear, people don't look for me based on the last websites I visited. Kind of an awkward press conference for my parents. Officer, do you have any leads? Well, based on Mr. Finnegan's computer entries, we think he was abducted by Sorority Sluts.”

People Ifs Thinking Wells Looks Kind Lasts Parent Computer Presses Disappear Officers Awkward Conferences Website Entry Press Conferences Sorority

Author:Christian Finnegan

“What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I ever have a car alarm - if I ever have a car - it's just going to be a big speaker on the back of my car. And when anybody tries to break in, it's just gonna go: Attention! Free bags of weed! Come get your free bags of weed!”

People Ifs Trying Helping Bigs Attention Break Car Bed Bags Weed Speakers Alarms

Author:Christian Finnegan

“What people really want is not to make something funny, but to make something amusing - which, in many ways, is the opposite of funny. To amuse someone is to eliminate discomfort and awkwardness, kind of like a massage for the brain, while to be funny is to point out awkwardness and discomfort. Everyone thinks they want funny, but they really want amusement.”

People Thinking Way Want Kind Brain Opposites Amusement Discomfort Amusing Massage Awkwardness

Author:Christian Finnegan