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The Ultimates (2024-) #9

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Deniz Camp

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“That's it, I'm going to beat you down and make you sorry." Xypher froze as he braced himself for her attack. But instead of her giving him pain, she tickled him. It took him several seconds before he realized her intent. By then she was pouting. "You're not ticklish. Well, that stinks." She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, hiding the breasts he loved to tease. "I'm sorry," he said, trying to cheer her. "If it'll make you happy, I'll pretend to be." "No it's okay. Can't have everything, I suppose." She paused at the edge of the bed. "But you come darn close." "Close to what?" "Being perfect. Only you're more than that, Xypher. You're wonderful." Xypher couldn't move as she left him to go to the bathroom. He couldn't breathe as those words sank into his consciousness. She thinks I'm wonderful...”

“It can take forever for a willing underachieving to reverse his underachievement and become an achiever. There are about a handful of reasons for this. His empowerment needs for which he needs help with, his basic needs according to his age, his mental language and skills he must master typically slows down the process of reversal.”

“All underachieving persons need help. All. No underachieving adult or child can reverse his underachievement by himself. With resilience and an inner locus of control, an underachiever can try though, but it wouldn't be as effective as getting help. Without help, an underachieving person would literally get little results compared to the effort put in.”

“A Child always GROWS into his Area of Strength, then he CALLS it his IDENTITY If that child seems lost, it's cos he feels he has no "Strength" He would go searching until he finds it. Even if he finds it at the wrong place. That's why, it is okay to show your child the dream you have for him. So it may become where he finds his own. Or else, he could find it where you may not like. Every GROWING child looks to GROW into something that he can call his IDENTITY. His first love! Dance... Music... Sex... Cooking... Any hobby... Or interest... Any! Uncover that child's identity WITH HIM and FOR HIM... Before he gets it WHERE YOU would rather he doesn't.”

“You need a Community to Parent your child. If you are the only one doing the "Parenting" trust me, you have a long way to go. Your child needs SOME skills you DON'T HAVE. If you had THOSE SKILLS, they still would need others YOU STILL WOULDN'T HAVE. My point? You ain't perfect! If you are the only one doing the parenting you are just starting. And I bet You, YOU WILL BE SO SLOW at it and their would be certain areas you can't touch. You need PARTNERS. Partners of your CHOOSING! Partners to help you reach your goal of PARENTING your child. Your pastor or imam for CERTAIN spiritual goals. Your FRIEND (who has been there, done that) for INSPIRING your child through an EXAM. Your Child's TEACHER for CERTAIN Learning objectives. A Mentor to TEACH your child (un)COMMON SENSE. A coach to SHOW your child the Way. Your Child's FRIENDS to teach him SOCIAL SKILLS. YOUR dad, to teach your child HISTORY of your FAMILY. YOUR GRANDMA to TEACH him Service to Elders. And so on like that... Small, small deliberate goals...for which you need a COMMUNITY of your CHOOSING. The key is to be DELIBERATE and PLAN ahead while sourcing for your PARENTING PARTNERS. It's your GOAL, not theirs. It's their STYLE not YOURS. It's their TIME not YOURS. AND YES, Its your CHILD, not theirs! It takes more than love to parent a child.”

“Your school can do much more about Potential Development. Many schools focus on grades. That's cool. You can focus on potential development. That's better! Cos you get more benefits. For one such students get good grades in line with their potential. Cos they will be learning skills that make them better in many ways. Your teachers have different abilities, skills, motivation and giftings. Many of which are very relevant for developing student potential. Many schools put those to use only during sports. They assign the "sport-ish" teachers to sports days. And leave other teachers to watch. What about listing areas you generally want your students to be developed in? Areas that are based on the school vision and mission statements. Then assign EACH teacher an area or sub area - the teacher directly or indirectly looks to develop students in his or her area. Some kind of division of labour. A focused kinda style for making students meet your expectations. Many times, you find that schools can do more.”