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Quote by Alonzo Bodden

“Women like jewelry. They're like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they'll follow you home.”

Quote by Alonzo Bodden

Author

Alonzo Bodden is an American comedian known for his unique humor style and sharp wit. Born on June 13, 1962, he has been active in the comedy scene since the 1990s, gaining widespread recognition and acclaim for his exceptional comedic talent and personal charm. more

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“I'm a black male, over 40, with no kids, living in the suburbs - they wanted to put me in a museum. Why did I move to the suburbs? I started watching Desperate Housewives. If comedy didn't work out I can always try gardening.”

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“Every day theres something new. Something's going to destroy us all. Then it disappears.”

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“I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up.”

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“The difference, generally speaking, between sportbike people and cruiser people is that sportbike people like performance skill and wear safety gear; cruisers like chrome, noise, and style. It's funny to me to separate them because I ride both. I prefer performance cruisers like the Honda Valkyrie I had or my Triumph Rocket III.”

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“I was teaching airplane mechanics when I realized it was more fun to make them laugh. I was laid off one more time and I never looked back, although it was nice to have a steady paycheck and benefits.”

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“Latinos outnumber Black people now. I'm not too happy about it. Because it's only a matter of time before we lose our month. Soon as they figure it out, they're going to have Latino History Month. All we're going to have is Cinco de Negro.”

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“I grew up in the suburbs. I'm an angry suburban nergo. I'm bad in, like, Starbucks. I'll hurt you over a frappuccino.”

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“If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.”

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“Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?”

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“I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.”

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