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Quote by Jon Stewart

“Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people are left with only open nagging questions: what kind of freak has 1,000 pages of medical records?”

Quote by Jon Stewart

Author

Jon Stewart, born on November 28, 1962, is an American satirist, comedian, writer, and television host. He is best known for his work on 'The Daily Show', where he used satire and humor to deeply analyze American politics and social issues. more

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“'Twas but my tongue, 'twas not my soul that swore.”

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“The United States Central Command of the Armed Forces has asked Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq. It should also be noted that the only three other people that the U.S. military has asked to leave Iraq are Saddam Hussein and his two sons.”

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“President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which means he's given up on Earth.”

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“Throughout his life, General Wesley Clark has stood up to some tough opponents. He battled the Viet Cong, and went toe-to-toe with Slobodan Milosevic. But today the retired four-star general capitulated to the fiercest enemy he's ever confronted: the American voter.”

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“In South Carolina, Senator John Edwards won handily, fulfilling his promise to win every state he was born in.”

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“President Bush delivered his first State of the Union address, riding high on an 82-percent approval rating, and with Attorney General John Ashcroft dispatching agents to interview the other 18 percent.”

Firsts States President Percent Unions Agents Interviews Addresses Riding Approval President Bush Attorney Rating Approval Rating

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“Bush advisers have long been worried that a lagging economy could hamper the president's re-election chances. They hope that the Cabinet shake-up will provide a needed jolt. If that doesn't work, North Korea has to go.”

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“Analysis of President Bush's tax plan has revealed that several elaborate tricks and gimmicks were used to make it look like a $1.35 trillion cut, but in reality it's going to be closer to costing $1.8 trillion. Critics claim it's math so fuzzy, you have to squint to see our nation's future of subsistence farming and post-apocalyptic roving motorcycle gangs.”

“I want you to admit that there is such a thing as white privilege.”

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Author:Jon Stewart