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Quote by Dylan Moran

“You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'”

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Dylan Moran is an Irish comedian known for his unique humor style and witty performances. Born on November 3, 1971, he has been active in the comedy scene since the 1990s. more

“I used to live with two other guys. We used to cook two things. The first one was called 'cheese... thing' and that was where you get something and you melt cheese over it and the first one to guess what it is doesn't have to wash up. That's obviously quite Mediterranean; the other one was less complex. It was just called 'cheese fantasy.' That's where you come in, very drunk, at about five in the morning and find an apple and just pretend there's some cheese on it.”

Firsts Two Used Guy Morning Fantasy Five Complexes Drunk Cooks Apples Two Things Over It Cheese Other Guys Where You Come

Author:Dylan Moran

“I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.”

Ifs Thinking Want I Can Helping Humor Funny Turns Very Good Sandwiches Canteen

Author:Dylan Moran

“Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now”

Moving Lying Hours Dark Doors

Author:Dylan Moran

“What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.”

Children Humor Funny Faces Walks Talking Morning Comedy Midget

Author:Dylan Moran

“Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.”

Want Firsts Soup Suspicious

Author:Dylan Moran

Quote by Dylan Moran

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