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Quote by Michael Scott

“You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded.”

Author

Michael Scott is an Irish author born on September 28, 1959. Known for his unique humor and insightful literary style, his works have gained popularity among readers of all ages. more

“When I retire, I don't want to just move to some island somewhere. I want to be the guy who gives it all back. I want it to be like, 'Hey who donated that hospital wing that's saving so many lives?' 'I don't know. It was anonymous.' 'Well, guess what. It was Michael Scott.' 'But how do you know? It was anonymous.' 'Because I'm him.”

Knows Want Giving Wells Moving Guy Wings Hey Saving Islands Hospitals Do You Know Retiring

Author:Michael Scott

“Everyone always wants new things. Everybody likes new inventions, new technology. People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me the choice is easy.”

People Want Trying Humans Ends Choices Easy Technology Computer Connections Machines Murder Likes Invention Lakes New Things Replaced New Technology Human Connection New Inventions

Author:Steve Carell

“There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.”

Jokes Appropriate

Author:Michael Scott

“Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't know where it's going. I just hope to find it somewhere along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.”

Knows Way Sometimes Conversation Sentences

Author:Michael Scott

“Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and I have a great one. 'Little Kid Lover.' That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.”

People Knows Way Needs Littles Done Kids Lovers Office Dating Priorities Online Little Kid Signing Great Ones Online Dating Work Day Signing Up Great Office

Author:Steve Carell

“I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's the perfect way to start the day.”

Way Night Enjoy Sleep Perfect Bed Six Wake Up Lays Smell Injury Breakfast Waking Delicious Going To Sleep Plugs Butlers Start The Day Breakfast In Bed Bed And Breakfasts

Author:Steve Carell

“Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice ... strike three.”

Three Fool Office Strikes Fool Me Fool Me Once

Author:Steve Carell

“This year, more people will use cocaine than will read a book to their children.”

People Years Children Book Use Cocaine

Author:Steve Carell

Quote by Michael Scott

Author

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