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Quote by Jacob M. Appel

“Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.”

Quote by Jacob M. Appel

Author

Jacob M. Appel is an American author born on February 21, 1973. His works span various literary genres, including novels, poetry, and plays. Appel's writing is appreciated for its unique style and profound insights into human nature. more

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“Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.”

Life Is Easy Nasty Short Death

Author:Jacob M. Appel

“This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but with an empty room, a crisp white bed, silence.”

Ends Stories White Rooms Silence Bed Empty Shock Hospitals Chests Electric Crash Carts Crisps Sirens Empty Rooms Electric Shock

Book:Phoning Home: Essays

Source: Phoning Home: Essays

“I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing.”

Dream Used Convincing

Author:Jacob M. Appel

“Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.”

Ifs Clean Optimistic Underwear Being Optimistic Clean Underwear

Author:Jacob M. Appel

“Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.”

Girl Sells Uniforms Tombstone Girl Scout

Author:Jacob M. Appel

“If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises.”

Ifs Thinking Men Giving Wells Problem Solve Hammers

Author:Jacob M. Appel

“I can handle being married for my money; it's being married for my life insurance that gives me pause.”

Giving I Can Married Give Me Handle Pauses Being Married

Author:Jacob M. Appel

“A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.”

People Today Individual Century Claims Notion Laughed Monkeys Offended

Author:Jacob M. Appel

“Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.”

Poor Guides Entitled Tour Guides

Author:Jacob M. Appel

“Such is the demographic paradox of a junior physician's relationship with his patients: I worry about how to extend their lives. This anxiety inevitably shortens my own.”

My Own Worry Anxiety Patient Paradox Physicians Juniors Demographics

Book:Phoning Home: Essays

Source: Phoning Home: Essays