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Quote by Paul Reiser

“A friend told me to listen to my heart. Another friend told me to listen to my gut. Maybe I need an autopsy, because right now my colon is kind of iffy.”

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Paul Reiser

Paul Reiser is an American comedian, writer, and television producer. Known for his unique humor and profound emotional insights, he is best known for his work on the sitcom 'Paul Reiser' and his books 'I, Paul' and 'I, Paul 2'. more

“The first time I tried to put a new diaper on my baby, I yanked the little Velcro strap too jerkily and actually punched the little guy in the jaw. A real solid shot, too. I knew instinctively that this could not be correct. Unless you're specifically trying to raise a welterweight, continual deliverance of powerful uppercuts is not advised when handling newborns.”

Trying Firsts Littles Real Guy Powerful Baby Shots First Time Raises Deliverance My Baby Diapers Velcro

Author:Paul Reiser

“A new child in the house is a huge tourist attraction. It's like Disneyland, except there the lines are longer and no one brings casseroles.”

Children House Lines Huge Attraction Tourists Disneyland Casseroles

Author:Paul Reiser

“Parents often give middle names just so that later, when they're yelling at the kid, they can drag it out. Henry David Thoreau, you come in here this instant!”

Giving Kids Names Parent Middle Instant Drag Yelling David Thoreau

Author:Paul Reiser

Quote by Paul Reiser

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