“The nation's largest savings and loan, Washington Mutual, has become the biggest bank failure in history. See, the problem with the savings and loans? Not enough savings, too many stupid loans, okay In fact, they changed their name from WaMu to 'screw you.'” EnoughFactsProblemNamesNationsStupidChangedOkaySavingMutualScrewsLoanSavingsScrew You Author:Jay Leno
“But the good news, the crime rate is down. Isn't that amazing? Less banks are being robbed. Well, sure. A, there's less banks. B, the banks don't have any money left. And C, nobody's got gas money for the getaway car. So, right there, crime is down!” WellsLeftCarCrimeNewsRateGasGood NewsCrime RatesGetawaysGas Money Author:Jay Leno
“Financial experts are saying we are entering a new chapter in the American economy. I believe it's Chapter 11.” BelieveI BelieveEconomyFinancialExpertsChaptersEnteringAmerican Economy Author:Jay Leno
“Actually, now I don't even eat that much anymore. If you tried to follow me now, you'd be in trouble. You wouldn't be able to follow through on life during the day. You wouldn't focus. You'd get brain cramps, probably.” IfsAbleBrainFocusTroubleFollow MeFollow ThroughCramps Author:Robby Albarado
“I really missed being in New Orleans, but I'm one of the lucky ones.” LuckyNew Orleans Author:Robby Albarado
“The federal government... announced a plan to spend, like, a trillion of taxpayer dollars to buy out bad mortgages and debt. Wall Street was surprisingly enthusiastic about the plan to save their (butts) with other peoples' money. It was either that, or Sarah Palin's idea to sell it all on eBay.” IdeasGovernmentPlansStreetsWallSellsDollarsDebtFederal GovernmentEnthusiasticTaxpayersMortgagePalinEbay Author:Bill Maher
“Sometimes the essay is where we end up when everything that we know must change.” KnowsEndsSometimesEssays Author:John D'Agata
“I can't tell you how lucky I feel to be able to collaborate with some of my dream producers.” FeelsI CanDreamAbleLuckyProducers Author:Carly Rae Jepsen
“The group MoveOn.org has called on John McCain to release all of his medical records. In response, McCain told them, 'Why don't you just come down to the warehouse and look around for yourself? Bring a forklift, it'll take time.'” LooksRecordsGroupsResponseMedicalReleaseTake TimeMccainWarehouseMedical Records Author:Conan O'Brien