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Audrey's Gone AWOL

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Annie de Monchaux

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“Botox" In a friendly exchange with a shopper in a grocery story line, she joyfully declared: “Today is my 50th birthday!” I said, “It looks like the hands of Time have touched your face gently. Happy birthday!” “The hands of Time weren’t gentle on me, my dear. What you see are the wonders of botox,” she said. “They say it freezes face features and expressions. Is that true?” I inquired half-jokingly. “At this stage of my life, it makes no difference. I no longer need any expressions. There is nothing worth smiling for or frowning upon. I spent decades expressing in every physical and verbal way possible, all in vain,” she said. Her words were followed by a hopeless giggle that reminded me of the philosopher who wrote that as we advance in age, our fears are replaced with giggles. She then continued, “There is a time when you discover that all verbal and physical expressions are futile. In everyone’s life, there’s one defining event that freezes everything in their lives. Anything that happens after that event is no more than desperate and hopeless attempts to pretend that we are okay.” Before I managed to find the appropriate words, the cashier called on her. The timing was ideal as words froze on my tongue just like the botox freezes features and expression in a world in which words and expressions are of no use anymore. [Original text published in Arabic on October 14, 2024 at ahewar.org]”

“From the moment of birth, women are schooled in a million subtle ways to be overly impressed with men and masculine ways, and to take our feminine needs and interests less seriously. The covert conditioning of a lifetime does not automatically disappear just because we want it to; it becomes buried in the unconscious where it continues to influence our behavior without our conscious awareness. I think there are three main reasons why women attempt to impress men: to attract a mate, to bolster our self-esteem, or to get and keep some of the power that can be acquired by aligning ourselves with dominant males.”

“An empowered sense of self-love means you truly love and accept yourself as you would a treasured lover or a sweet, wonderful child, and that you do this from a place of strength of character and belief in yourself.”