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GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition

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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE

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“Compulsive gamblers escape the frustrations of day to day living by building a fantasy life filled with dreams of what they will buy or possess when there are enough winnings. Pathetically, there never seems to be enough of these winnings to make even the smallest dream come true and gambling compounds the frustrations rather than minimizing them.”

“Ultimately, they gamble in reckless desperation and the dream world brings no relief. It brings only increased debt and extreme anxiety, driving family and friends further away. But the obsession to gamble is accelerated nonetheless. The gamblers' self-destruction becomes a terrifying experience for families and loved ones and may involve their destruction as well.”

“It may be difficult for the loved ones to accept and examine their own issues when they are in relationships with compulsive gamblers. Their lives are frequently filled with fear, disappointment, frustration, anger and a general feeling of unmanageability, making even the simplest tasks of daily life a challenge. They know that something has to change in the way they are relating to the gamblers, but can’t think of what to do and how to do it, so they take no action other than repeating past behaviors. They have no way of knowing what may happen if they were to act and react differently. Fear of this unknown is a great deterrent for taking action. Feeling like a victim is a natural result.”

“Loved ones desperately try to rationalize and defend why they put up with the outrageous behavior of their compulsive gamblers. They use statements such as "I love him," "I know she loves me," "He needs me and would be lost without me," "The children need their mother/father," or "My culture, religion, family do not approve of divorce." These are frequently some of the reasons offered as excuses for doing nothing about the situation.”

“Even if the gamblers reach the point of seeking help through Gamblers Anonymous, the non-gamblers will often refuse to recognize their own need for help. This will not come until they have reached their own emotional "bottom" and they grow "sick and tired" of being "sick and tired.”

“They carted me off to a local emergency room, where I sat in a sterile, curtain-lined room for enough hours to fill up nearly an entire day. I was waiting, just racking up my medical bills. Over the span of time I was there, I saw three other women I recognized from the rehab center who had been transferred as well. I wondered how many more there were. We were like pawns being moved around, seemingly based on our ability to pay.”