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Quote by Erin French

“They carted me off to a local emergency room, where I sat in a sterile, curtain-lined room for enough hours to fill up nearly an entire day. I was waiting, just racking up my medical bills. Over the span of time I was there, I saw three other women I recognized from the rehab center who had been transferred as well. I wondered how many more there were. We were like pawns being moved around, seemingly based on our ability to pay.”

Quote by Erin French

Work

Finding Freedom: A Cook's Story; Remaking a Life from Scratch

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Erin French

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“Parents may feel tremendous anger and a sense of betrayal just as spouses and companions do. But there is also a great deal of confusion surrounding the origin of the problem since parents generally feel responsible for their child’s upbringing. This is one of the primary points at which the path of the parents diverges from the path of other non-gamblers. Gamblers might be able to make the other nongamblers in their lives feel as though they have contributed to the problem in the family, but a parent may actually feel that they have caused it.”

“Since compulsive gamblers are master manipulators, the gambling children will attempt to capitalize on their parents' feelings of guilt and despair. They will beg, plead, blame, set one parent against the other and play all manner of other games designed to get the parents to bail them out of each worsening situation.”

“Grandparents are often a favored target as are siblings. Siblings are often coerced into keeping the gamblers' secrets as well as giving the gamblers money. This can cause even more rifts in the family as the other children begin to lie to the parents to cover for their siblings. The gamblers, in the meantime, will continue to manipulate all these family members in order to achieve their goals of obtaining more money and time to gamble.”

“Some adult children of compulsive gamblers may identify with the gamblers, mimicking their behavior. Others may become the protectors of the non-gambling parent. Even though these children abhor gambling and may have grown up to dislike and distrust the gambling parent, they may actually help the gambler keep secrets so the non-gambling parent does not become upset. They might give the gambler money so the other parent does not suffer the financial and emotional consequences of the gambling. Some children will strive throughout their adulthood to secure the love and attention of the gambling parent, continuing to give money to the gambler, even to the detriment of their own relationships and financial security. For some children, their only choice is to physically and emotionally abandon their parents in order to strive, unencumbered by their parents' problems, to live a normal life.”