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GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition

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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE

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“Since compulsive gamblers are master manipulators, the gambling children will attempt to capitalize on their parents' feelings of guilt and despair. They will beg, plead, blame, set one parent against the other and play all manner of other games designed to get the parents to bail them out of each worsening situation.”

“Grandparents are often a favored target as are siblings. Siblings are often coerced into keeping the gamblers' secrets as well as giving the gamblers money. This can cause even more rifts in the family as the other children begin to lie to the parents to cover for their siblings. The gamblers, in the meantime, will continue to manipulate all these family members in order to achieve their goals of obtaining more money and time to gamble.”

“Some adult children of compulsive gamblers may identify with the gamblers, mimicking their behavior. Others may become the protectors of the non-gambling parent. Even though these children abhor gambling and may have grown up to dislike and distrust the gambling parent, they may actually help the gambler keep secrets so the non-gambling parent does not become upset. They might give the gambler money so the other parent does not suffer the financial and emotional consequences of the gambling. Some children will strive throughout their adulthood to secure the love and attention of the gambling parent, continuing to give money to the gambler, even to the detriment of their own relationships and financial security. For some children, their only choice is to physically and emotionally abandon their parents in order to strive, unencumbered by their parents' problems, to live a normal life.”

“In the beginning one may fail to recognize compulsive gambling as a serious problem. The loved ones may participate as part of their social entertainment, enjoying the excitement and glamour of vacations in places such as Las Vegas and similar destinations.”

“The gamblers lose and are remorseful. The non-gamblers are consoled in the mistaken belief that the gambling is only intermittent and thus accept any promise made to never gamble again. Months pass between gambling episodes. Most of the time, however, there is ongoing gambling which remains hidden from view.”