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“Some adult children of compulsive gamblers may identify with the gamblers, mimicking their behavior. Others may become the protectors of the non-gambling parent. Even though these children abhor gambling and may have grown up to dislike and distrust the gambling parent, they may actually help the gambler keep secrets so the non-gambling parent does not become upset. They might give the gambler money so the other parent does not suffer the financial and emotional consequences of the gambling. Some children will strive throughout their adulthood to secure the love and attention of the gambling parent, continuing to give money to the gambler, even to the detriment of their own relationships and financial security. For some children, their only choice is to physically and emotionally abandon their parents in order to strive, unencumbered by their parents' problems, to live a normal life.”

Quote by GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE

Work

GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition

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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE

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“In the beginning one may fail to recognize compulsive gambling as a serious problem. The loved ones may participate as part of their social entertainment, enjoying the excitement and glamour of vacations in places such as Las Vegas and similar destinations.”

“The gamblers lose and are remorseful. The non-gamblers are consoled in the mistaken belief that the gambling is only intermittent and thus accept any promise made to never gamble again. Months pass between gambling episodes. Most of the time, however, there is ongoing gambling which remains hidden from view.”

“In the third stage of gambling, the illness escalates and exerts an even stronger pull on the gambler. Family relationships deteriorate, friends are gone, emotions are strained, and finances are ruined. Life becomes meaningless and the players proceed down the pathway to the complete destruction of one another.”

“Are we doing for the gamblers what they must do for themselves? Are we accepting behavior that is unacceptable? Are we taking responsibility which is not ours to take? Are we shirking our responsibilities to self and others? Are we in a state of denial about the reality of our situation? Are we continually reacting to the gamblers, or are we taking our own appropriate actions?”

“The gamblers may make statements such as: "If you weren't always nagging me and making life miserable, I wouldn't need to gamble." "You know how hard I work and you begrudge me my hobby." "If you were a better spouse... " "If you didn't spend so much I wouldn't need to gamble." "If you hadn't made me so angry, I wouldn't have had to leave the house to calm down." "Sitting at the computer is the only way I can relax after one of your stupid fights." "If you paid more attention to me, I wouldn't gamble."   Usually, the accusations are much more subtle and more difficult to deal with.”

“[The non-gamblers] can’t help but wonder if they could have stopped the gamblers from gambling if only they had done or said something differently. The fact is that whether or not the non-gamblers continue to play this game and join in the argument created by the gamblers, the gamblers get to gamble.”