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Quote by Andy Kindler

“They shouldn't call anything a boot camp unless you're going off to war. Standup boot camp has been a fantastic thing, for the people putting it on. They keep you out in the woods and won't let you come back until you're funny. Lenny Bruce came up with his Religions Inc. bit on a day hike.”

Quote by Andy Kindler

Author

Andy Kindler is an American comedian known for his unique humor style and sharp satire. Born on October 16, 1956, he has been active in the comedy scene since the 1980s. Kindler is recognized for his performances in television shows, movies, and on stage, with his work often delving into social and political issues. more

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“I don't know if it's the weather or what's going on - the summer or something like that - but recently I've been feeling extremely bisexual. I don't know what it is. I don't know what's going on, but I walked down the street and, suddenly, the ladies are looking awfully good to me.”

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“Jewish people, we don't need the money. We're doctors and lawyers. It's the Christians who can't hold a steady job and have to go on TV and ask for money.”

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“I believe conspiracy theories are part of a larger conspiracy to distract us from the real conspiracy. String theory.”

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“Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest.”

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“I don't know what Tracy Morgan does on stage, but I can assure you it's no act.”

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“You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don't realize that plumbers in the South make less money than when they used to install separate drinking fountains.”

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“If I don't believe in Jesus, maybe I don't believe in Hell. Did you ever think of that? You're so excited about it, why don't you go to Hell? It's your concept; you invented it.”

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“I watched Anderson Cooper 360 for a year before I realized that the second hour was a repeat of the first. I just thought his reporting seemed familiar.”

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“I have no sympathy for the people who went to Charlie Sheen's show and were disappointed. That didn't seem very organized! That guy's all over the map!”

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