“There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.”
Quote by Phyllis Diller
Author
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller was an iconic American comedienne, born on July 17, 1917, and passed away on August 20, 2012. Known for her unique comedic style and exaggerated performance, she was a prominent figure in the American comedy scene in the mid-20th century. more
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“The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.”
“My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.”
“Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!”
Source: Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy
“It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.”
“It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.”
“I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.”
“I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.”
“I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.”