“Scientists say over the next hundred years, the coast of California will sink almost five feet. So the presidential candidates need to do something. Mitt Romney is conflicted. On one hand, he denies that global warming exists. But if California is under water, he would definitely win the next election.” IfsNeedsYearsHandsNextWinningWaterFiveFeetHundredScientistElectionDenyCaliforniaPresidentialCandidatesGlobal WarmingCoastRomneyPresidential Candidate Author:Craig Ferguson
“The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.” AmericaThreeCitiesDrivingRiverside Author:Craig Ferguson
“CBS announced they're canceling As The World Turns. Don't worry though, if you're addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit sex, you can still watch golf.” IfsWorldStillsTurnsSexWatchesWorryGolfPlotIntrigueTwisted Author:Craig Ferguson
“There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's just the part where he fixes his hair.” PeopleSexMinutesHairTwentiesTapeRumor Author:Craig Ferguson
“If you come from a normal family, you immediately start playing the role of a boy, a girl a man or a woman, but I'm sure you'll agree with me that those are only roles, limited roles, at that.” IfsMenGirlBoysRolesNormalAgreeNormal Family Author:John Lone
“The point I'm trying to make is, I'm really quite neutral. I have not been conditioned.” Trying Author:John Lone
“I wasn't playing a drag queen - I was playing an extraordinary performer.” ExtraordinaryQueensPerformersDragDrag Queen Author:John Lone
“It's probably foolish to expect relationships to go on forever and to say that because something only lasts 10 years, it's a failure.” YearsLastsForeverGoes OnFoolish Author:James Taylor
