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Golf Quotes

“Perhaps I should explain that I have recently had to give up golf, for health reasons – my wife was going to kill me. You see for some time now she’s had the ridiculous idea that I spend so much time playing golf that I’m losing touch with her and our two or three children – little whatsitsname and the other one. Actually it all came to a head at about eleven thirty last night. She suddenly shouted at me, “Golf – golf – golf – all you think about is bloody golf!” And I’ll be honest it frightened the life out of me, I mean you don’t expect to meet somebody on the fourteenth green at that time of night.”

HumourGolfSportRonnie Corbett
Book:Ronnie In The Chair
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“The mornings came hard, and our caddie master, Dick Millweed, had a temper that could make a hangover seem like a seismic fracture. He was a small man with a soft, friendly voice. He was not intimidating at all, until he lost it. In his defense, he took shit from all sides - from the members who wanted their favorite caddie and their preferred tee time, from the golf staff who wanted him to perform a million menial duties, and from us when we showed up bleary eyed and incoherent and sometimes didn't show up at all. And God forbid a caddie should stumble in late, because then Millweed's lips would begin to tremble and his blue eyes would explode from his head. They grew as large as saucers and shook as though his skull was suffering earthquake. And he appeared to grow with them. It was like some shaman or yogi trick. Pound for pound, I've never met anyone else who could so effectively deliver anger. He would yell, "You like fucking with me, don't you? You like making me look bad! You wake up and say, 'Today I'm gonna fuck with Millweed!' and it makes you happy, doesn't it?" And we had no choice but to stand there and take it - hang our heads and blubber apologies and promise never to be hung over again, never to show up late again, because he held the ultimate trump card _ he could fire us and cut us off from the golden tit. But once we were out on the course walking it off, the hanover and any cares associated with it (including Millweed) evaporated into the light mountain air. And after the round, with our pockets replenished and our spirits restored by the carefree, self-congratulatory ebullience of the uberrich, we were powerless to resist the siren song of clinking glasses, the inviting golden light of the street lamps and tavern windows in town, and the slopeside hot tubs steaming under the stars. We all jumped ship and dined, danced, and romanced the night away and then were dashed against the rocks of Millweed's wrath all over again the next morning.”

QuoteGolfAspenCaddieJohn DunnLoopers
Book:Loopers: A Caddie's Twenty-Year Golf Odyssey
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“Father, I can’t take this,” I said. “Why not?” “Because you’re a priest, Father.” “And my money’s no good because of it? What are you? A member of the Masonic Lodge?” “Naw, Father,” I said. “I just feel guilty taking money from you.” “Well, you’re Irish and Jewish. You have to feel guilty over somethin’, don’t ya? Take the money and be happy ye have it.”

MoneyGuiltGolfJewishFoster CareIrish
Book:No Time to Say Goodbye: A Memoir of a Life in Foster Care
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“The President is also captured in a well-worn TV news clip, making a boilerplate response to a question on terrorism and then asking the reporters to watch his drive. Well, that's what you get if you catch the President on a golf course. If Eisenhower had done this, as he often did, it would have been presented as calm statesmanship. If Clinton had done it, as he often did, it would have shown his charm.”

United StatesTelevisionGolfTerrorismCharmHypocrisyWar On TerrorDouble StandardsStatesmanshipBill ClintonGeorge W BushDwight D Eisenhower
Book:Christopher Hitchens and His Critics: Terror, Iraq, and the Left
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