“I have to stop myself once an hour and remind myself that the universe isn't against me. That the woman in front of me in line at CVS didn't wake up and think, "I'm gonna make Iliza's life miserable today." (Honestly? Try as I might, I do believe there is a secret meeting in Los Angeles every morning at five where people gather and get their "Annoyance Assignments" for the day. I bet people are given tasks like, "just get in your car and drive on the freeway, any freeway; do whatever you can do to create more traffic and not contribute to society. Oh, and make sure that when your car breaks down, you never push it off to the shoulder." Or the people at the airport who don't know the rules. You know the ones. It's like, "WE ARE IN A TSA LINE! YES, YOU HAVE TO THROW OUT YOUR FUCKING WATER! YOU HAVE HAD TO THROW IT OUT FOR THE PAST SIXTEEN YEARS, TODAY ISN'T ANY DIFFERENT! THERE IS STILL A WAR ON TERROR!")”
Quote by Iliza Shlesinger
Work
Girl Logic: The Genius and the Absurdity
Browse quotes and source details for this work. more
Author
Iliza Shlesinger
Iliza Shlesinger is an American comedian known for her unique humor style and witty performances. Born on February 22, 1983, she has gained popularity in the comedy world through her participation in comedy competitions and television shows. Shlesinger's work focuses on satirical social phenomena and everyday life, which has won her a dedicated fan base. more
You May Also Like
Source: Girl Logic: The Genius and the Absurdity
“To pretend to ignore the enemy is the best way to seduce the enemy”
Source: XX
Source: The Business Case for AI: A Leader's Guide to AI Strategies, Best Practices & Real-World Applications
“Whatever route you choose to success, vision, passion and persistence will get you there.”
“A good strategy is effective no matter what the opponent does.”
Source: Cold War II? China, America, Global Strategy, and the New Cold War