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Quote by Giovannie de Sadeleer

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Giovannie de Sadeleer

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“The exploration and construction of a personal history with another person is a powerful, transformative intrapersonal experience. Without memory, there is no self. Meaning is personal experience composed into narratives. However, the narratives brought forth by the patient are generally stereotypes and closed. A central part of what the analyst adds is imagination, a facility with reorganizing and reframing, a capacity to envision different endings, and different futures. If the storylines suggested by the analyst himself are rigid and stereotypes, the analytic process degenerates into sterility and conversion.”

“If someone thinks you’re a fucking problem, an addict, a fuck-up, and broken, they’re going to treat you differently despite all their best intentions otherwise, which can foster a slow, steady reduction, stripping away confidence and self-love until it all becomes a repeated, entrenched story. The irony is that this contraction often occurs in the care of those who are genuinely trying to help.”

“People who have an extreme fear of abandonment become angry at the slightest form of distance. They may then react by becoming controlling, demanding, angry, or critical. We can be triggered and then react in indignation. Healthy adults, of course, will not stay long in such a relationship without seeking professional help, each for individualized issues. We can only stay when we don't need to walk on eggshells anymore because we are getting help in changing things. Sometimes a relationship can only work with work.”