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Quote by Demetri Martin

“Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.”

Quote by Demetri Martin

Author

Demetri Martin is an American comedian, writer, and actor known for his unique and witty humor style. He is recognized for his sharp wit and satirical commentary, often performing in television shows, movies, and stage performances. Born on May 25, 1973, Martin's career began in New York comedy clubs. more

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“I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree. A tree whose hungry mouth is pressed Against the earth's sweet flowing breast; A tree that looks at God all day And lifts her leafy arms to pray; A tree that may in summer wear A nest of robins in her hair; Upon whose bosom snow has lain; Who intimately lives with rain. Poems are made by fools like me, But only God can make a tree.”

“There was nothing in this world that was not a con, suddenly I understood this. Nothing really mattered, and nothing could be lost.”

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“When you believe you have a future, you think in terms of generations and years. When you do not, you live not just by the day — but by the minute.”

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“It's around midnight. After I left Dad, my choice was to either become very drunk or write this. I chose to write this. It felt kind of now-or-never for me.”

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“Do you ever just want to take your car out onto the highway and gun the engine as fast as you can and then close your eyes and see what happens?”

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“All systems have failed me. In five minutes I'll be fine again for a while, but right now the inside of my head feels like Niagara Falls without the noise, just this mist and churning and no real sense of where earth ends and heaven begins.”

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“Inasmuch as I am a spiritual man, I do believe in God - I think that He created an order for the world; I believe that, in constantly bombarding Him with requests for miracles, we're also asking that He unravel the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would be a cartoon, not a world.”

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“My brain feels like a cool, deep lake.”

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“What do you mean, blindly? That baby is a very sentient creature… That baby sees the world with a completeness that you and I will never know again. His doors of perception have not yet been closed. He still experiences the moment he lives in.”

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“Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.”

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